How To Have An Empowered Birth Regardless Of Your Birth Plan

Sharing is caring!

I think that if I’m known for anything it’s probably “empowered birth”. I talk about having an empowered birth a lot, I encourage birth plans a lot, I’ve chosen unmedicated births for my own births, and when I create courses or content for you, I usually focus it on how I can educate, empower, and support you the most. 

Click here to scroll to the bottom of this post to see the quick-look podcast show notes for this episode.

But what I believe can sometimes get confusing is what an empowered birth even is. What is an empowered birth? How does it feel to be empowered during your labor? What does it even mean to be empowered? …and ultimately, can anyone have an empowered birth? Or is it reserved for the women who are choosing to labor and birth unmedicated?

And ultimately, I want you to understand that an empowered birth doesn’t have a whole lot to do with whether or not you’re experiencing pain. It has more to do with whether or not you're experiencing suffering. And trust me, friend, those two things are NOT the same.

An empowered birth doesn’t mean that you did or didn’t receive pain medication. An empowered birth is more about maintaining control, being well-informed, and making active decisions during your birth process. And think about that for a moment… can a person who is choosing an unmedicated labor and birth maintain control, be well-informed, and make active decisions during their birth process? Yes, absolutely. Can a person who is choosing an epidural maintain control, be well-informed, and make active decisions during their birth process? Yes, of course. Now what about if you’re headed for a C-Section? Can you still maintain control, be well-informed, and make active decisions during your birth process? YES GIRL. YES. The answer is yes you can. 

Defining An Empowered Birth

Firstly, let's unravel the enigma of an Empowered Birth. Contrary to some assumptions, an empowered birth is not about eschewing pain medication or enduring unbearable pain. Nor is it solely reserved for those opting for unmedicated births.

The True Essence of An Empowered Birth

An Empowered Birth focuses on maintaining control, being well-informed, and actively making decisions throughout your birth journey. It's about minimizing suffering in the birthing process. Whether you choose an unmedicated birth, opt for an epidural, or plan a C-section, you can have an empowered birth. It's about your power and choices, not the method of birth.

Why Does An Empowered Birth Matter?

The Misunderstanding

I know that there is a pretty common mindset when it comes to labor and birth that sounds more like “oh, whatever happens happens. I’m just going to go with the flow” or “Just get my baby out. Period.” “Keep me and my baby alive. That’s all I care about”. 

And at first glance that mindset might sound reasonable because OF COURSE that’s what we all want. OF COURSE that’s what we care about most and OF COURSE that’s ultimately our goal to go home with a healthy baby. 

But having that mindset of “just get my baby out safely. Do whatever you need to do” isn’t always the mindset that actually gets you to that result. 

“Alive” isn’t the same as “Healthy”. “Alive” isn’t the same as “Thriving”. It's baseline. “Alive” is the absolute bare minimum that you should be expecting from your birth. That shouldn’t be your ultimate goal. That’s the baseline, bare minimum goal that we all should be expecting of our births. But every single one of us DOES have a bigger goal than that in our mind, even if you don’t quite realize it yet. 

Unfortunately some women only begin to realize that they had a bigger goal when she and her baby goes home “safely” but carrying really heavy birth trauma. Or really painful or lifelong physical trauma. 

The Greater Picture

Having a plan for how you can be empowered during your birth isn’t about ticking items off of a checklist; it’s about having a voice and a choice at every stage of your birth journey that leads to thoughtful decision-making and using intentional interventions because it’s the next best option and not simply the most convenient or fastest option which is often the case when we “go with the flow”. 

The truth is that embracing empowerment can lead to both psychological and physical benefits before, during, and after your birth.

Having an empowered birth isn’t about proving to yourself or anyone else that you can birth in a certain way. It’s about doing yourself the favor of preparing for birth physically, emotionally, and in ways that allow you to reach your goals for your birth whatever they may be. And I think if you dig just a little bit, you’ll be able to think of goals that you would like to achieve that sound like a whole lot more than JUST “get my baby out safely”.

Yes, that’s number one.

But I know there is more if you dig a little deeper. Maybe those goals sound like…

Get my baby out safely and smoothly.

Or Help me birth my baby safely and smoothly.

Help me birth my baby in a way that is safe for my baby, my body, and my mental health.

I want to birth my baby in a way that is safe for my baby, my body, my mind, and in a way that I can enjoy my birth experience without birth trauma.

You see how I can keep going and going, changing small things here and there, and adding more to it? It doesn’t take away from your deepest desire to have a healthy baby. But it DOES acknowledge that you matter too. Leaving your birth with a healthy postpartum body, a healthy milk supply, intact mental health, and positive feelings about your once in a lifetime birth is important for every woman giving birth. Not just crunchy mamas with a birth plan and a goal of an unmedicated birth. 

None of these are too much to ask, regardless of the kind of birth that you’re planning on having. And quite honestly, these goals matter. They matter A LOT. 

Creating Your Birth Plan

So what you’re going to do is you’re going to create a birth plan. And when I say create a birth plan I’m not referring to a checklist where you can mark boxes off of a list. Instead, try writing out your birth story before it happens and start there. Take 10 minutes out of your evening tonight before you go to bed and write down how your birth will unfold.

Think about the whole story. From the beginning of the experience, through all the parts of the middle, and through the end where you’re holding your baby in your arms for the first time. How does it look? How did you get there? What had to happen for this to be your reality? This is where you’ll start.  If you get caught up somewhere and you feel like “well, gosh, I don’t really know the process of this” or “I’m not really sure what to expect here”. Then you’ll know that you need more insight in order to feel prepared to advocate for yourself in those moments. 

Making Your Birth Plan Empowering

That is what a birth plan is all about. It’s not about having a list of things you’d prefer. It’s more of a plan of steps that you can strive for, ask questions about, try to avoid, or work towards in order to reach your individual goals that you’ve set for yourself. 

You may be thinking about your preferred birthing environment, pain management strategies, who you want present – the list can be extensive Yet, the process of creating a plan isn't just about choices or a list of yeses and nos, it's about building a foundation for empowered birthing. It means embracing flexibility and being prepared for different scenarios…”

Navigating the Unknown in Your Birth Plan

Writing your birth plan will likely highlight areas where you feel uncertain. You may not know what you want, or even what your options are. It's okay; we all start somewhere. But, instead of waiting to see if you have a traumatic birth and then learning from that experience, why not dig deeper beforehand?

Becoming Informed: Your Path to Empowerment

Arming yourself with information is the first step towards an empowering birth. It's not about predicting every possibility but about understanding the options, their benefits, and potential risks.

Being informed gives you options and the power to make the choices you're comfortable with, ensuring you won't feel like you're merely going with someone else's flow for your birth.

If you’re not fully informed, you have no other choice but to go with the flow. Because no one wants to make uninformed choices or leave important decisions up to someone who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, right? So if you feel like you don’t have a clue when you’re in your birth space and someone comes to you with an option…you’ll go with it. Because what other choice do you have?

So if an empowered birth is an informed one and an informed birth gives you options…

Well, then, that’s the first and most important thing that you can do…give yourself options…because there is a whole world of information out there that you have no idea that you didn’t know. 

Customizing Your Birth Plan to Your Needs

Ok so the next thing that you’re going to do is you’re going to take that information that you’ve found and you’re going to figure out what’s important to you. What’s actually relevant? And what can you do to prevent or ensure that bullet point on your birth plan? It’s going to be different for everyone but i’ll give you some insight in how you can do this regardless of what type of birth you’re having. 

Retaining Control and Flexibility in Your Birth Plan

Sometimes things don't go as planned, and it's essential to adapt. Even if you have an epidural as your pain management plan, be open to additional techniques and ideas to make your experience as comfortable and positive as possible regardless of whether or not your original “plan” happens the way you thought it would.

Knowing that you have alternatives and backup options puts you in the driver's seat of your birthing experience.

Effective Communication for an Empowered Birth

The next thing that you’re going to need to get comfortable with in order to have the empowered birth that you deserve is to communicate with your team and advocate for yourself at every turn. One of the biggest mistakes I see women make in labor is to feel like every suggestion by your team is a demand or an order. Always remember that you have a choice.

Advocating for Yourself

Communication is the cornerstone of an empowered birthing experience. This is happening to you. Your birth. Your body. And it’s your choice. But when we sit here and say “you have a choice!” it’s not because you should decline everything that’s offered. But because it’s important for you to ask questions, ask for options. Ask for second opinions. Ask for a rationale.

Communication with your team allows you to bring all of your knowledge and preparation full circle in the real world and not just let words on the page of your birth plan be just that. Communication is where your birth plan comes to life and your empowered birth becomes your reality. An open dialogue with your healthcare team allows them to fully support your needs and wishes. 

Embracing Empowered Decision-Making

Having an empowered birth doesn’t mean that everything went according to plan or exactly as expected. Having an empowered birth doesn’t mean that it was easy or painless or uncomplicated. It means that you were able to make choices, make decisions, and stay in control during your birth through all of the twists and turns. 

Navigating the Unexpected

Never let suffering take over your birth. It may be difficult or sometimes scary at times but you’re able to take the strides as they come, make choices without feeling manipulated, forced, bullied, or clueless about what was going to happen next. 

An empowered birth is one where at the end of it, you feel good about the way it unfolded because you were able to birth without allowing fear into the driver’s seat. You were able to go with the flow of your birth while being the decision maker and feeling confident in the process. 

However you picture your birth, you can have an empowered one. But you have to be willing to get into the driver’s seat and that starts now. Not when your baby is making their appearance. It's your birth experience, and you have the power to shape it.

Your Empowered Birth

At the end of your birthing experience, take time to reflect on the journey. An empowered birth is characterized by your ability to make decisions and feel content with how you navigated the experience, regardless of whether everything went as initially planned.

Conclusion: Your Birth, Your Power

No matter your birth plan, embracing an empowered birth involves understanding its importance, crafting a birth plan that aligns with your values, arming yourself with knowledge, and effectively communicating with your healthcare team.

It's about not just surviving, but thriving through the birthing process by remaining engaged, informed, and in control. Your empowered birth journey begins long before labor and culminates in an experience that resonates with your inner strength and determination.

Here's to all the new and expecting mothers embarking on this journey. May your birth be empowering, fulfilling, and a memory that you cherish forever.