Baby Number 3: The Most Unexpected Unmedicated Birth Experience

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Being pregnant with baby number three, I didn't know what I should expect in regards to labor and birth. Should I assume that labor will be fast since my other two births were fairly quick for a first and second-time mama? Should I assume that I would go over-due as I had with my first two babies or that maybe I would actually go a couple of days early since my body has done this before? I wasn't sure. But what I DID know for sure was that I wanted an empowered, low intervention, unmedicated birth experience just like I had had with my second baby.

As a labor and delivery nurse, I often hear that the third baby is the “wild card”. You just never know what you're going to get. Well, as I planned for my second unmedicated birth, I tried to cover all of my bases and make sure I was prepared for anything… well, THAT didn't happen. I was totally unprepared for what actually went down in my third, unmedicated birth experience.

Getting Ready For An Unmedicated Birth Experience

As the weeks passed in my pregnancy, I felt like the whole thing was just flying by. After experiencing loss and miscarriage prior to getting pregnant with this rainbow baby, I had spent so much time praying that this baby would be healthy and that this pregnancy would go to gestation that I was in a bit of denial that we were actually at the end of the road.

When I was 38 weeks pregnant, I finally started to prepare for my upcoming birth. Although I had done it before, getting everything in order and making sure I had everything ready for my daughter's arrival seemed like so much work and so overwhelming to me at the time.

I kept telling myself that I needed to practice some of my pain management techniques with my husband some more, go over the birth plan again, pack my hospital bag, and even finish setting up the nursery.

Real talk – we hadn't even set up the bassinet next to my bed yet by the time I was 38w6d.

Little did I know, the very next day, my little girl would be here.

Here's how it happened…

38 Weeks Pregnant

Now, as a little refresher, let me remind you that this baby is my third. I have gone into labor and birthed two babies before this one. So, in general, I kind of knew what to expect from my body when the time comes.

During my first pregnancy, I had absolutely zero signs of labor prior to labor starting. I wasn't contracting, wasn't experiencing any pain, and hadn't even lost my mucous plug prior to my water suddenly breaking in the middle of the night sending me into labor just a few short hours later.

During my second pregnancy, I had a few signs of labor. My mucous plug came out a few days prior to labor starting, I started to have loose stools the day before labor started, and I felt like the baby “dropped” maybe four days prior to birth. So, when I started contracting in the early morning hours, I was excited that this could actually be it…and it was.

Ok, fast forward to baby number three…

I was 38 weeks and 2 days when I had an appointment with my midwife. At the appointment, my midwife asked if I wanted her to check my cervix. I told her that yes, I do and I actually also inquired about a possible membrane sweep if I was dilated enough for it. With my previous two pregnancies, I had three, yes THREE, membrane sweeps before I went into labor each time. So, I wasn't quite convinced that they were all that effective for my body but I wanted to do it to encourage my body to go into labor…sometime…like next week or something. 🙃

So, the cervical exam ended up being really difficult. My cervix was sky high, difficult to reach, and not at all a “laboring” cervix. But it was dilated enough to do a sweep…so that's what we did.

I went home that day feeling 100% fine. No contractions, no leaking, no bleeding, no signs of labor.

I Caught The Nesting Bug

Although I wasn't experiencing signs of labor, that cervical exam and membrane sweep did do something for me. It kicked me into gear and lit a fire under my butt to get ready for birth. I don't know if it was a hormonal shift or an emotional one but something shifted inside of me and told me “Ok, Heather, now is the time. This baby is coming and you need to get ready”. So that's what I did.

I was nesting SO HARD for the next two days. I cleaned out every drawer and cabinet that I could get my hands on, unpacked boxes that were lying around, put away the rest of the baby clothes, finished up some laundry, and finally decided to pack my hospital bag when I was 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant.

While packing my hospital bag, I was feeling totally fine. You can see me packing my hospital bag on IG in my Hospital Bag highlight bubble. You can see that I was totally comfortable…not at all in labor.

I was thankful that I got the bags packed and the house cleaned up before any sort of labor signs started presenting themselves.

Signs of Early Labor

With all of that being said, I was having some subtle signs of pre-labor that let me know that things might start happening soon. But as a labor and delivery nurse, I know not to put too much weight on these signs because they can mean that labor is starting tonight… or in two weeks. They aren't 100% reliable in telling you when to expect baby to make their debut.

When I was 38 weeks and 5 days, I lost my mucous plug. It came out in chunks throughout the day. The mucous was a little blood tinged and I was hopeful that this was a good sign that my cervix might be shifting a bit, preparing for labor.

At 38 weeks and 6 days, in the early afternoon, I started to experience frequent, loose stools. Because this combined with losing my mucous plug were the same signs that I had experienced with my second, I was excited that things might start happening in the next day or two.

But to my surprise, by the time my boys' bedtime rolled around (at 7:30 pm) on that same day, I had started to feel some mild contractions that were much different than the Braxton Hicks that I had been feeling leading up to this point. So, I walked into my son's bedroom and told him and my husband “The baby might be coming soon. Give baby a kiss because this might be the last time you see mama with her big belly!”.

My son was so excited. My husband though…did not believe me. He was in just as much denial as I was that this baby might come before her due date. This is just unheard of for me!

The Sign That Sent Me To The Hospital

Over the next few hours, my contractions were spaced out. They were still mild and far apart enough to know that it was not time to go to the hospital for labor. I told my husband we need to hurry up and set the bassinet up next to my bed and call his mom to let her know that she should be prepared to come over when it's time…most likely tonight.

So as we finish setting up the sleep space for baby, pack our finishing touches into our hospital bags, and get off the phone with my mother-in-law who told us she'd be right over, my contractions started to get a little more intense. They were still spaced out about every 10 minutes or so but I had to stop and breathe through most of them. This was so exciting! I felt like baby would definitely make her appearance by tomorrow.

But then, out of nowhere, I sat down to pee and when I got up, the toilet was filled with blood. The water was red and I felt globs of something come out of me as I sat on the toilet. So I reached down and into my hand plopped a massive clot. Well, massive for pregnancy. It was about the size of a golf ball.

This triggered so many emotions in my body. I could not keep it together. I told my husband we needed to leave NOW as I rummaged through my dresser for my doppler.

Bleeding is normal in labor. Bleeding that much, is NOT normal. Passing large clots in labor is also NOT normal.

I know that the bloody show is a common experience and is typically not something to be concerned about. But if you ever turn the toilet bowl red and find golf-ball sized clots in your hand during labor, please don't let anyone tell you that it's just bloody show.

So, I got into the car with my things as my husband gave his mom the run-down and thanked her for being there to watch our boys on such short notice. As my husband came around to get into the car, I started searching for the heartbeat with my doppler.

Although part of me was going to all the dark places because of my past trauma with bleeding during pregnancy, I also was somewhat calm because I had just felt her moving just moments before we got into the car. I knew she was ok, but I needed the doppler to reassure me. So as we drove a 40 minute drive to the hospital where I work, I used the doppler after each contraction to check on baby. She was fine. Each time I checked, her heart rate was absolutely normal.

We Checked Into Labor & Delivery – Midnightish

We got to the hospital and headed up to labor and delivery with our bags. My husband was about to get the room set up for labor but I told him to wait. Since I really wasn't checking in for labor, I was checking in for bleeding, I knew that we might not even be getting admitted at this point.

As the nurse checked me in and asked me what was going on, I told her everything. I told her I was still in early labor but the bleeding was too much to ignore. She placed me on the monitor to check on baby and everything looked fine.

When the doctor came in to assess me, she did a bedside abdominal ultrasound and a manual cervical exam. Both showed that everything was normal. She said that there was minimal blood on her glove, I was 3 cms dilated, and the placenta seemed to be fine and far enough away from the cervix so there was nothing to worry about.

She gave me the option to go home now or wait it out for two hours to see what happens in that time.

I chose to wait. I didn't know if my labor would speed up in that time, I kind of dreaded the thought of laboring in the car for 40 minutes home and then another 40 minutes back when the time was right, and I also wanted to keep an eye on baby for a little while longer just in case there really was something wrong. So…we waited.

We Were Given an Ultimatum

After the two hours had passed, a nurse rechecked my cervix and told me I was 3.5 cm and my cervix was still high and posterior. This is not a typical laboring cervix. So, the determination was that I should go home to continue my early labor in a more comfortable environment…especially because I desired a low-intervention, unmedicated birth experience.

I was uncomfortable with the idea of going home simply because I was still having bleeding. When I would use the restroom, there was still bright red period-like blood in the toilet and on the toilet paper. And although my fetal heart rate tracing was looking “fine” it wasn't looking great. During my time there, they had me drink juice, turn onto my side, and stay on the monitor as they watched and waited for my strip to go from “ok but not totally reassuring” to “better”.

But yet, when they had to make a decision for what to “do with me”, they had to have a reason to keep me there. So, the doctor on call that night decided to give me an ultimatum. Stay and be augmented with Pitocin because they can't just sit around watching me without speeding things up… or go home and come back in active labor.

Let Me Rant

First of all, staying and being augmented would make absolutely no sense whatsoever. You don't fix a bad strip with Pitocin. You don't fix bleeding with augmentation. If anything, you would avoid interventions with risks such as Pitocin for a mama and baby that is having a less than reassuring strip + bleeding. Especially if she's obviously in early labor…just not quite in active labor yet.

Early labor means…LABOR. Yes, if it wasn't for the bleeding, I would still be at home because it wasn't quite time to check in for active labor. BUT once you're in early labor like I was, we are no longer just waiting around for something to happen. Something is happening. Just not at the rate or pace that they want for their business.

So they didn't think twice about putting me and my baby at risk in order to speed things up for themselves or put me and my baby at risk by sending me home to labor with this unexplained moderate bleeding and a questionable strip.

I was not happy with the offer to augment me. It put the nastiest taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, I knew that Pitocin would solve absolutely nothing at all in my case. I knew that it would just make things worse for me and my baby in our situtaion. Dean and I didn't want to be in the care of a doctor who would offer such an intervention so hastily so I chose to go home, be comfortable in my own space, monitor my bleeding, watch my kick counts, and use my doppler as needed.

I even told my husband that if we had to come back on her shift, we could just simply go to a closer hospital instead. This wasn't what I originally wanted because I adore the hospital that I deliver at. But that one, specific human could have ruined my entire birth experience. So I was willing to give up the birth environment that I originally wanted in order to avoid her.

Laboring At Home

When we got home, I decided to get into a warm bath. My husband had been up for 24 hours at this point so he took a nap on the floor next to the bath tub.

I was able to relax in the bath for a while and the water felt so nice. But I was getting tired (it's like 4:00 am at this point) so I told my husband I just wanted to labor in the bed so that I could sleep between contractions.

I wrapped myself in my pregnancy pillow. Tis small intervention actually had a much more comforting and relaxing effect than I originally imagined. Honestly, I had never used my pregnancy pillow in labor before but man, I was really enjoying the support and comfort through my contractions. I guess this is my new labor must-have because it was really working for me.

It was at this time that I started to notice that my contractions were wrapping around to my back. I wanted to stay laying down for a while longer so my husband turned on the heating pad and placed it on my back for some pain relief during contractions.

We laid in bed like this, contracting every 8 minutes or so and falling completely asleep between contractions for a few hours. It was a restful way to labor. I highly recommend it during early labor when your contractions are still spaced this way.

When the contractions became too uncomfortable to labor laying down, I got up and sat on my birthing ball for a short time. I didn't last long there before the bleeding concerned me again. It was around 8 am or so when we decided to get back in the car for the drive to the hospital. This time…I brought my pregnancy pillow for the drive. 10/10 recommend.

Laboring At The Hospital

When I got to the hospital around 8:30 am, the pain of my contractions had increased dramatically. If you are in The Empowered Birth Academy, you might know that sometimes, as you enter a space where you are uncomfortable, feel unsafe, or just simply gets you out of your “zone”, pain might temporarily increase in response to the tension that you've created simply by entering that environment.

Although I love the hospital that I deliver at and I trust the team there, checking into any hospital for labor can be nerve wracking and bring up feelings of fear or uncertainty that you may have buried until that point.

So I sat in the wheelchair at the front of the Labor and Delivery unit, partially talking to the nurses, and partially breathing and “oooo”ing through my contractions. This time, it really felt like active labor.

They quickly got me into a labor room where the nurse put me on the monitor (baby girl was doing just fine) and checked my cervix. I was 4 cm dilated.

Part of me was disappointed that I wasn't further along but I knew that my contractions weren't very close yet and that it was just a matter of time for the frequency to catch up to the intensity. With my second son, I also checked into the hospital at 4 cms… and then I delivered 3 hours later.

I assumed that would be my same fate this time…

My Unmedicated Birth Experience

Can I tell you how blessed I was with the team that was there for me? Oh my goodness gracious. I could never have asked for a better, more supportive, more kind nurse than the one that I got.

From the moment she checked me in to the moment I delivered, she was there for me, encouraged me, kept me motivated, and made me feel fully capable to have the unmedicated birth that I was aiming for. When I doubted myself, she shut those doubts down. When I asked for help, she was there. I feel like God was totally involved in who my nurse was that morning. She was the biggest blessing to me.

Anyway, here's how my “active” labor went down…

At 4 cms

My husband did an excellent job setting up the room as soon as I got admitted. He placed the portable mini fan on my hospital bed to keep me cool, he turned on my labor playlist, got out the essential oils, and made sure he knew where all of my labor management tools were so that he didn't have to go rummaging through my bag if I needed something.

At this point, position changes were the go-to. After my initial assessment, a quick NST on the monitor, and my IV placement, I was able to get up, move around, change positions, lean over the bed, and go to the bathroom without limitation. At this stage of labor, this is what was working for me.

At 5 cms

Unlike my last birth, I actually experienced 5 cms. 😆 When I labored with my son, I skipped over 5 and 6 and went straight to seven. Not this time. Things were moving a little slowly and I was having intense back pain.

This is when I started needing more intervention from my husband. He was practicing counter pressure with his hands on my hips and also with an acupressure ball on the small of my back. Both of those techniques helped so much with the labor pain that was focused on my back.

This is also the point in time when my contractions became closer together, feeling more like the type of labor that would actually change my cervix. This is exciting because it feels like progress but it can also be difficult when you get less rest between contractions.

At 7 cms

The next time that I was checked, I was 7 cms dilated. At this point, I was using “ooooo” sounds as my vocalizations, I was needing words of affirmation, counter pressure and massage through my contractions.

To Learn more about pain management and progression techniques in labor, check out The Empowered Birth Academy where you'll learn all of the tricks and tips that I have up my sleeve to achieve your most empowered birth.

By this point in my labor, I was having my doubts as to my ability to have the birth I wanted. I told my husband “I don't know if I can do this”. I was discouraged by how slow things were moving in comparison to my last birth and I was so tired from being awake for over 24 hours. The back pain was getting the best of me and I needed my support system to remind me that not only can I have the birth that I wanted but that I am doing it.

My husband had no doubts. He told me again and again how strong I was and how proud he was of me and he reminded me that I certainly can and will have the birth that I wanted.

It was also at this point when my nurse told me “get up. Go get in the shower”. And you know what I did? I got up, I got in the shower, and I took the advice that I needed to get me to my end goal. I didn't just say “no, this is hard”. Instead, I said “this is hard. What can I do to manage it better?”. And the people around me helped me so, so much.

I got in the shower and for a while I let the water hit my back then I turned and let it hit my front. I rotated like that for a while until I felt tired again and wanted to lie down to labor for a little while. What is it about the water that makes me tired in labor? I don't know. But that's when I tried to snuggle up in bed again, propped with pillows and trying to relax on my side.

This position worked for a while but it was still really tough. My back pain was hard. My nurse reminded me that this back pain was likely because my baby was in the OP position in my pelvis. In other words, she was sunny-side-up.

So, in hopes to help her turn, my husband and I attempted some rebozo techniques to help her maneuver her way into a better position. Unfortunately, I hated the rebozo this time. I don't know why I hated it but I did! This is why I always encourage you to have a long list of options you're willing to try when it come to pain management and progression techniques in labor. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. The rebozo was not working for us so we gave up on it. Unfortunately, my little girl was still in the OP position, wreaking havoc on my back.

At 8 cms

Finally, as I was resting quietly in my labor bed between contractions, I hear my husband say “OH HI!!” excitedly. I looked up and saw the most beautiful face…it was my midwife.

There is something about having a person you fully trust walk into your birth space. I felt instant relief. Like, “Ok, now that she's here, I can totally do this.” She's got an energy about her that just makes you feel like this is no big deal and you're about to just Rock Your Birth even when you feel like you're about to give up. Love her.

She offered to check my cervix and I accepted. I was 8 cms with my water bag still intact. She told me she wanted to break my water. I was hesitant because I know that once the water breaks, things become more intense. And remember, I was already really working hard to manage these contractions. I became a little apprehensive at the thought of my labor becoming more intense with no guarantee that it would necessarily be quick.

But I fully trust her. So I accepted the AROM. She broke my water, let me know it was clear but bloody, and she kept her hand inside for a little while longer, attempting to assist baby to turn out of the OP position as she maneuvered down into my pelvis.

When she was finished, she told me to get onto all fours. Did I argue with her? Absolutely not. Onto all fours I went. As the next contraction started, she tried to give me counter pressure…I HATED it. She said to my nurse “She liked counter pressure before and now she hates it. I think baby shifted out of the OP position”. My back pain was gone and I felt all of my pain/pressure in my low belly and vagina.

My midwife then let the nurse know that she was going to go out to the nurse's station to chart. She walked out of the room, I had my next contraction and the next thing I said to my nurse was “I'm feeling a little…pushy”.

So, my nurse called the midwife back in. I'm sure she wasn't even out of the room long enough to reach the nurse's station.

Birth – 1:30 pm

At this point, I couldn't tell if I was having a contraction or not. I remember the nurse asking me “are you having one?” and I could not answer her. I didn't know. I could no longer distinguish when a contraction started or ended. It all felt like one big sensation. All I knew was that my body was pushing for me. I couldn't stop it but I wasn't trying to. I was just letting my body do whatever it was going to do at that moment. In this moment, I wasn't consciously pushing, I wasn't holding my breath, I wasn't bearing down. I was doing nothing. As I let my body completely take over and do the work, I was totally passive.

I was still in the all-fours position and I heard someone in the background ask my midwife “Are we delivering in this position?” and my midwife said “I don't know. I'm just kind of letting Heather do her thing”. #thankful #bestmidwifeever

Part of me was totally comprehending what they were saying. But the other part of me was completely out of body. I didn't plan to give birth on all fours but there was no way I was moving now. This was happening.

I remember my husband's face right in my face, encouraging me, telling me I've got this and saying “she's coming. She's almost here”. This is all I needed to keep me going.

Pushing wasn't hard. It was a relief. Labor pain was over. All that was left was the unstoppable urge to birth my baby. It was by far the easiest part of my entire birth process.

I'm not sure how many minutes or contractions pass but it was quick. All of the sudden, I felt partial relief as the head was delivered and my midwife told me to grunt a few times. I did and my daughter was born.

Instant relief turned into pure joy as she handed me my baby through my legs. I held her and realized I had done it. The most beautiful, empowering, unmedicated birth I could have asked for. All with the best team and support that I could have ever asked for.

It was the most beautiful moment that I will absolutely never forget.

The After Birth

OOOOOhhh but that's not all, friends.

We did delayed cord clamping as I held my sweet girl on my belly and stared at her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. You want to know the craziest thing? I fully recognized her. This was HER. This was my baby that I felt like I knew and loved and adored and recognized all in that moment. She was everything I had been dreaming about and more.

As I stared into her precious little face, I could tell that there was still some pressure “down there”. No pain. But some pressure. My midwife let me know that the placenta was about to be delivered so she clamped the cord, my husband cut it, and my placenta delivered with absolutely no effort on anyone's end. My body just birthed it. It didn't require pushing or pulling or bearing down. It just came out with some guidance by my midwife. Now THAT was total relief. No more pressure. I felt totally normal. Isn't that the craziest thing in the world? How the pain is just instantly gone? How your body just takes over and your body just knows exactly what to do? Uhg its just so incredible I could go on about it forever.

Anyway, as the placenta came out, my midwife exclaimed “oh my gosh look at this cord!” My placenta had a Velamentous cord insertion. She showed it to me and my eyes grew wide and my jaw nearly hit the floor. THAT IS WHAT ALL OF THE BLEEDING WAS FROM!!!

Velamentous cord insertion (VCI) is an umbilical cord attachment to the membranes surrounding the placenta instead of the middle of the placenta itself. Velamentous cord insertion can cause vasa previa, which means the unprotected blood vessels lie between the baby and the mother's birth canal. When labor begins, the blood vessels may break, putting the baby at risk of serious blood loss. Velamentous insertion also increases the risk of stillbirth. This just makes me more upset about the ultimatum that was given to me earlier that morning. But, I digress. Everything is fine and she's healthy, thank GOD.

At The End Of The Day

At the end of the day, I look back on my birth experience with gratitude. I am so thankful that my sweet girl is healthy and finally safe here in my arms. I'm thankful for my knowledge of labor and delivery and my ability to make decisions for myself and my baby with confidence. I'm thankful for the power to advocate for myself when things get sticky. And I'm thankful for the humans that God sent to my labor room that day.

Every single soul in my birth space was there for a reason and played an essential role in my incredible birth experience. From my husband who I literally leaned on through every stage of my labor to the baby nurse who I had never met before in my life. Each and every person holds a special place in my heart because without them, this birth story may have been different…and I wouldn't change any of it.

This birth was hard and at times it was messy. But it was absolutely beautiful and exactly the birth I needed it to be. My girl is here, I am healthy, my body is intact and my mental health is better than ever. I can look back on the birth of my baby with happiness, gratitude, and amazement.

Is the third baby really the wild card?

I get asked this question a lot. The rumor is that third babies will surprise you in labor and birth. Their births are more unpredictable and don't always follow suite with mama's first two births.

I never thought that my third baby would actually be my wild card. But the superstition in labor and delivery held true that my third baby would throw me for a loop. This little girl came a week and a half earlier than her brothers, almost two whole pounds lighter than my heaviest baby, made me labor for longer than both of my previous births, just had to be OP throughout my labor, and surprised us all with a complication that occurs in 1% of pregnancies. Was she my wild card? I'd say so.

How Felt After Having My Third, Unmedicated Birth Experience

How did I feel?

Like everything was exactly as it should be. Physically, I felt 100%. Not a single ounce of pain. Those post-birth “contractions” that people talk about? Please. They were literally nothing. Maybe it was all of my natural love hormones surging through my body but all I could feel was appreciation for my body and what it could do and love for this tiny human who I would do it all again for in a heartbeat.

Mentally, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I was happy, content, fulfilled, and beyond proud of what my little family had just accomplished together in that room.

The best part? As I write this post, I'm almost two weeks postpartum and those feelings haven't gone anywhere. The high I get from an unmedicated and empowered birth is something I don't recover from quickly. It lingers and I absolutely love it.

Leave a comment below and tell me what your childbirth was like or how you feel about the possibility of doing it unmedicated!

Keep Reading! Here are a few more posts I think you'll like:

My Unmedicated Childbirth & The Secrets Behind it (my second birth story)

The Day I Became A Mother: Our Birth Story (first baby)

18 Vital Tips To Manage Labor Pains Like A Boss