pregnancy after miscarriage

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  1. Hi, last week I found out that my baby’s heart had stopped beating. I was 12 weeks into my pregnancy. We are devastated and heartbroken. All I can think about is getting pregnant again although I am terrified of this happening again. Thank you for telling us your story. It gives me some hope that I will experience a healthy pregnancy next time. X

    1. Kate, I am so sorry about your loss. My miscarriage was right around that time as well. It is absolutely heartbreaking. Don’t feel guilty about your feelings. If you want to get pregnant again, then you should do it! If you are afraid of getting pregnant, then you should wait until you are ready. Do what feels right for you. There is absolutely hope! I will be praying for you!

    2. I can relate, I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this same pain.

      1. I had two miscarriage,I was very hurt.now I’m scared to fall pregnant again.

        Thanks

        1. I understand the fear, mama. Hang in there. Everyone grieves differently and it’s important that you only move forward with what feels most comfortable and healing to you.

    3. Litha Moyo says:

      Sorry hey.just lost my preg two weeks ago trying for another baby.lm fertile this whole week pray for me ladies to get pregnant again this month

  2. Katie Catlin says:

    I appreciate you sharing your story. It brought me to tears
    but also gave me so much comfort knowing I am not alone in so many of my feelings. I am a 26 year old type 1 diabetic and also have thyroid issues. My husband and I had an unplanned pregnancy two years ago before we were married. We had the chance to get into the doctor very early due to being high risk and I will never forget hearing our babies heartbeat for the first time. It came with sadness as they told me the heartbeat was faint and slower than expected. I tired to have hope in their statement that it could possibly be stronger and faster at the next visit. I found out I miscarried at 8 weeks and was devastated. I have several older sisters all with multiple children and it is all I had ever wanted even if it wasn’t planned. We recently found out we were pregnant again and had so much excitement but also fears. I said the same things ,” if this one lasts” or if everything goes well. I couldn’t wait to get past the 8 week mark to feel a little comfort but started spotting and bleeding at 6.5 weeks. My poor husband still had hope when I came out of the bathroom in tears telling him I was bleeding but I knew what was going on. With my first pregnancy I kept everything, pregnancy tests, nursery items etc. and felt so connected to the baby. With this one I did not. It was such a different experience and even now I feel like the second one has almost been easier because I’ve been through it before. I’ve been cleared by both my OB and my endocrinologist to start trying again as soon as I want to and plan to start again in one week. It took us 9 months once we started trying after the first miscarriage and am hoping and praying it goes more quickly and to have a healthy newborn baby in my arms one day soon. I’m sorry for the long comment but really needed to share and again thank you for sharing your story for others to see. And congrats on your rainbow baby <3

    1. Thank you, Katie! Don’t be sorry for the long comment!! I appreciate your story so much! It’s something women g through and have a hard time talking about. Sometimes it’s healthy to talk about it. Even if it’s in a comment! I whole heartedly believe that you will have a healthy baby in your arms sooner than you think. I’m sorry for what you went through. Stay strong for the baby that is in the works for you!

  3. Hey
    Thank you for your post. It has really encouraged me. I had a miscarriage 1week ago. I’m still so devastated even though the doctor said there was just the sac and baby hadn’t started developing.
    I’m still healing and grieving, but this time showed me how ready I am to be a Mum and how much that’s what I want. That first pregnancy wasn’t planned, but it made me realize how much I want a baby.
    Despite the fact that friends think it’s crazy, I want to start trying again as soon as I can.
    Wish me luck!
    Thanks again to your wonderful words of comfort; I wish you and your family all good things.

    1. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Annie. “Just a sac” should not ever be a measure of how sad you’re allowed to be. “Just a sac” was still a pregnancy and a hope for the future.You are going to make an incredible mother one day. If there is ANY silver lining to your devastating loss, it could be that you discovered something about yourself in the process. Now you know that you want to be a mama at this point in your life. Good for you. If you and your partner feel that now is the right time, I think you should go for i! Good luck! I wish you all the best.

  4. We lost our baby at 6 1/2 weeks on December 16th. We got to hear the heartbeat just 3 days before we lost the baby. We had tried for almost 2 1/2 years for that baby and we were crushed.

    We just found out on the 20th of January (the day before my birthday) that we are expecting again. We weren’t trying but with it taking so long before we never expected to get pregnant right away. I have so many mixed feelings and I am so thankful for what you wrote. It made me feel less alone. It made me feel like there is hope after miscarriage. We will be praying hard that our baby makes it to full term.

  5. Kelly McAllister says:

    Hi! Reading this post was difficult because of all the tears running down my face. I had two recurrent pregnancies and now am 6 weeks pregnant. I am excited, petrified, happy, sad and so many more feelings.. this is exactly everything I’m experiencing thank you for putting into words what I am feeling. I’m trying to enjoy and not google and worry. All I have to say is thank you for understanding and giving me a breath of relief that I am not alone.

    1. I am so happy that I can be there for you in this way, Kelly. Your pregnancy is in my prayers! I know a little bit about how you’re feeling and I know how hard it can be. Hang in there mama. You are so strong.

  6. Your blog post was exactly what I needed after praying and wondering when I should try again. All the people around me tell me to wait, but my heart tells me to give it a try. I’m going to use your experience as my confirmation to give it a shot. Thanks for posting this!

    1. You are so welcome. Follow your heart and as long as you are healthy and feel good, you and your partner should be able to make this decision whenever you feel ready again.

  7. I have read a lot of articles these past weeks on miscarriage and trying again afterwards. We Just had our first one after trying for a year. Your words really hit home and covered so many aspects that no one else talks about. Thank you for sharing your story. It is giving me hope for these next steps in our journey.

    1. You are very welcome, Callie. I have hope for you and your family! Stay strong in these hard times. Let me know if you need anything at all.

  8. Our first was so easy! Second month of trying, we got pregnant and had the most perfect (zero morning sickness/issues, delivered at 40+4), textbook pregnancy. He’s now nearly 3.

    I’m a planner, we were shooting for a 3-year gap… It took us 4 months, but we conceived and then miscarried. It was so drawn out, I spotted for about a week while we were out of town on vacation. When we got back, they got me in for an ultrasound. I was surprised to hear there was a heartbeat (@7w+5), but was measuring 2 weeks behind (5w+5). The doctors tried to be every keel about it, but I knew what was in store, the worst part was waiting, not knowing when it was going to happen… 5 days later it began and I miscarried the next day.
    We were told to wait a month before trying again.

    3 months later, we’re 4 weeks and my anxiety is crazy… They did blood work as soon as I called, and 48 hours later. All looks good and I got the “congratulations,” but it’s scary. This blood work is okay, but I didn’t have problems until a few weeks later the last time… They don’t have anything additional planned between now and 6w+4 appointment (maybe blood work then too?) with a nurse and then ultrasound at 8w+6.

    1. Congratulations, mama. I know that it’s scary but it’s worth it to try to overcome that fear as best you can. Treat this pregnancy as something completely separate from the previous one. Good luck at your ultrasound!

  9. Hi Heather, thank you for your post. It’s everything I needed to hear. I’m 4 weeks and scared. I’ve had two miscarriage with a healthy happy pregnancy in between. The fear and worry is not any easier. Both of my miscarriage was very very different. With the sea of red at 6weeks with the first one to finding out at 13weeks the baby’s heart stopped at 10 weeks. A complete slap in the face to think everything was ok and we were about to find out what we were having to having no heartbeat. Now a little over a year later from the second miscarriage we are praying for a happy healthy pregnancy. I said all that to say your blog definitely eased my fear. It’s in God’s hands. Thank you!

    1. Your story touches my heart! I can imagine how you must be feeling. You’ve been blessed with a healthy pregnancy between miscarriages. Hopefully that is giving you hope. But I understand the fear too. Especially after a 13 week miscarriage where the baby’s heart had stopped. That’s similar to what happened to me. I will be praying for this pregnancy for you! I am so so glad that my post gave you some sort of peach in this. And yes, it’s 100% in God’s hands now.

  10. Thank you so much for your words. I miscarries my first pregnancy one week ago at 16 weeks and have had mixed feelings about trying again. I don’t want to replace the little girl We’ve lost but I feel so ready to be a mother. I can’t imagine having to face the heartbreak again if something were to go wrong, but I also can’t see myself waiting to start trying again. Your story and words have given me hope in this uncertain time.

    1. I’m glad I could be even the smallest piece of your recovery. Only you can decide when the time is right for you. Trust your heart. You will always make the right decision for your family.

  11. Thank you for this. I had my second consecutive miscarriage last month and am now waiting for my next “normal cycle” so we can start trying again. They were so different; my first miscarriage I was caught off guard at a 10 week checkup to find out there was no heartbeat and this last time I started bleeding around week 7. I have heard so many stories of loss from friends and family but until now I was the only one I knew that had two in a row. Thank you for being so open. I thank God every day for my beautiful son and pray for one day for a sibling for him to grow up with. Best wishes for your pregnancy and a healthy sweet babe!

    1. Thank you Melissa. After my two consecutive miscarriages I had a beautiful, healthy pregnancy that gave me my second boy. I know you will receive a blessing of your own in time. I’ll keep you in my thoughts!

  12. I am a 30 year old mom and wife. I have had 11 miscarriages( all around 5 weeks) and 1 child(10 years old). I just found out I am 9 weeks pregnant. I am going through an emotional roller coaster, as is my husband. We are excited and scared all at the same time. I try real hard to be positive and joyful but it has been hard for us all. My son has even struggled with it. I have a huge support system, but it doesnt make the fear of loss disappear. I pray that everyone of you finds joy and comfort in your pregnancies and please remember you are not alone! <3 Dava

    1. Dava, thank you so much for your comment. I will not pretend to even begin to understand how you are feeling. You are so strong and I cannot believe what you have been able to endure. Mothers truly are incredible. I will keep this pregnancy of yours in my thoughts and prayers. I have a feeling that this is going to be one of your greatest blessings and I truly hope that to be true for you. You are absolutely right. We are not alone. We are all in this together, ever how far apart we are.

  13. Thank you for sharing your story. It was beautifully written and brings me to tears. You shared emotions that I’ve been trying to wrap my head around. I had a miscarriage on my first pregnancy at 7 weeks. I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant yesterday. I am overjoyed, hopeful, and scared. Our first pregnancy, my husband and I shared with our family and friends right away because we were so excited. The pain in sharing our loss was awful. With the news of this pregnancy, we want to keep it private for some time within just our family. I truly appreciate your advice in giving this baby all the love and prayers we can. Thank you.

    1. You are very welcome, Daniela. I wish you all of the best! Stay in touch during your pregnancy!

  14. Not sure if you still read these as it is now June 2020! However your story touched me. I miscarries at 21 weeks and delivered my baby girl March 7, 2020. I went in March 6 for my regular OB appointment and they could not find a heartbeat. I thought I was feeling her move, I thought I knew about pregnancy. This was my 2nd one. My first went ok, I had some issues (blood clot in my lung) but my son was born without issues and he was perfect. We were not planning to get pregnant again. I was tracking everything with the Flo app but today I found out I am pregnant. Ive been shocked, nervous, happy but felt sad I was happy. Then I found your blog. It is very touching and what I needed. Thank you.

  15. After 16 years of trying to have a baby and 3 IUI’s later…we found out we were expecting and we were beyond ecstatic. But at my 12 week checkup there was no heartbeat and I was only measuring 9 weeks. It was a complete shock. It has been one of the hardest things to go through. I had an awful time with the miscarriage and now that my body is finally healing, we are trying again but we do not want to go back to the fertility doctor. Just praying that it will happen naturally. Thank you for sharing your story. Believing with all my heart that we will have a healthy pregnancy soon.

    1. I believe you will too. Hang on to that hope, mama. Your rainbow will come in time. ??

  16. Hi,
    My husband and I lost our son on sept 13, 2020 at 19 weeks. I have never known heart ache like this. I delivered him after 18hrs of labor with my amazing husband at my side. this miscarriage happened with out warning after a few yrs of suffering with infertility and lots of trying.
    At my 2 week follow up appt postpartum, we found out I have a condition called cervical insufficiency. Hearing it wasn’t my fault apart from my husband telling me daily meant everything. Knowing that it was possible to carry full term with medical interventions gave us hope.
    A month later, losing our son has shown me now more than ever that I am ready to be a mother, that I want another baby. the reality of my feelings at the thought of getting pregnant again brought on a roller-coaster of emotions, all of which you penned perfectly. Thank you, you wrote everything I am feeling and thinking!
    We will be trying again soon and I pray that we will soon have a positive stick and a little bundle of love in our home and our hearts again!

  17. I suffered a miscarriage 5 months ago, I am pregnant right now, but I am so scared and I could totally relate with your words. I am just praying this baby will grow and be born with no complications.

    1. I feel for you, Melany. I understand how difficult it can be. I will keep you in my thoughts! Sending all the positive vibes your way!

  18. I am so happy to have stumbled across this. I miscarried 1 week ago at 7 weeks. I am 23 years old and all I have ever wanted in life was to be a wife and a mother. I felt so abundantly blessed that both happened in 2020. We were not trying for a baby, yet but as soon as we found out we already loved it so much. I feel upset with myself because when we told our family and friends I would say “it’s still early” and they thought it was so silly for me to say since I am so young and healthy but I honestly worried about every cramp and lack of symptom that I almost expected it to end in miscarriage even though everyday I bonded with the baby and my husband and I prayed heavily for myself and baby to be healthy. I ended up thinking it was silly for me to worry so much for no reason but when I woke up to spotting, I already knew… This all has been a whirlwind of emotions but I am trying to trust God’s plan for us even though we may not understand it. I am so ready to try again already but I am so nervous about what our family will think especially since we annouced our first pregnancy 6 months after being married and they responded with “already?!”. Ugh. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and touching blog that I related to on every level. I am hopeful for God’s plan in my life and every woman who commented with the same experience.

    1. Oh, Molly my heart reaches out to you! Some people might not understand but you need to do what is right for your soul. Sometimes waiting is more painful than trying again right away. Everyone is so very different. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts!

  19. March of this year I went for my 10 week ultrasound and found out I was only measuring 8 weeks with no heartbeat.It took 3 weeks for my body to realize I miscarried. I will be 11 weeks on Monday, going for my first ultrasound and I am absolutely terrified. I have to go alone due to COVID restrictions, and the emotional roller coaster I’m on right now is heart wrenching. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

    1. The fact that you have to go alone is gut wrenching. I can’t stand that that is the new normal. You need support during this time. I will be thinking of you! I hope all is well!

  20. Cassandra says:

    Hi Heather!
    I’m so glad I came across your post. Tomorrow would have been my due date but unfortunately 5weeks into the pregnancy I miscarried & went on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Today I am 3days late & finally had the courage to take a test which came back positive. Again I was hit w/ a rollercoaster of emotions. I was in shock to a certain extent due to the same symptoms I showed w/ the first pregnancy then happy that I was officially pregnant then came the “I dnt want to tell anyone just in case my period comes again.” I showed my fiance the test & he was happy then within seconds I couldn’t help but cry & play down my excitement because this wave of fear came over me. I too find myself checking for blood everytime I go to the bathroom & still dnt want ppl to officially know just yet until I’m pass the 12week mark. How I’m going to do that I’m not quiet sure yet lol I have an appointment to try wedding dresses on next weekend & I can’t help but feel like it’s going to be written all over my face that I’m hiding something. All these questions come to mind like am I wasting everyones time w/ a wedding while just finding out I’m pregnant. Do we just elope & have a party after or wait to see if I’ll even get further then I did before. Definitely trying to keep my cool but again mixed emotions are taking a big toll on me.

    1. I can imagine how you must be feeling. The roller coaster is definitely familiar to me. I cannot tell you what to do because we all grieve and cope so differently. For me, it helped telling people about my pregnancy after miscarriage because I felt like it gave me the support that I needed. I told my family and friends early so that if I were to lose the pregnancy, I would have shoulders to cry on. But I know that that approach isn’t for everyone. Also, I want you to remember that the odds are in your favor. Most likely everything will be just fine. As far as your pregnancy goes, if it were me, I would continue on with my plans and wouldn’t change anything! All that you might have to change is your dress size. But that’s just me!

  21. I never thought I’d experience loss. I have one very healthy baby, and we got pregnant with her easily. I thought I was just a super healthy and fertile woman. When I got pregnant again my little girl was only 9 months old. We were so excited because we were trying to have another. I lost my baby, my son, at 6 weeks. I can’t explain how I knew it was a boy, but my husband and I both felt it. I had never experienced such grief without peace. I’ve never questioned or have been upset with God, but I was. I had told my immediate family, and they were there to support me and watch over my daughter while I grieved. Even though this support was immeasurable appreciated, I was also met with what felt like betrayal from other Christian women. They said things like, “but your baby is with God”, “I’ll be praying for you” “God comforts those who mourn”, and other hallmark-like remarks that were utterly lacking empathy. I knew where my baby was, is, but that didn’t comfort me. I had one friend who simply said, “your baby’s life mattered” and that honestly was the most appreciated and comforting gesture.

    This month would have been my baby’s due date, and I was dreading it. It hurt, I blocked friends’ posts on social media that we’re having babies this month, I was drowning in my own pity, but I felt like I needed to take a pregnancy test. The week that I should have been having my baby, I found out I was pregnant. I still miss my baby but this one is also a blessing deserving of my love no matter what. I’m not very far along, but I have stupid optimism that God has sent me a rainbow. My nurse is also my neighbor and when I told her the news she got me right in to do some bloodwork, and my numbers are right where they should be. I’m trying to enjoy this early pregnancy without worrying of what could happen. I’m grateful for the support and for your story that you shared. Though I hope and I pray no woman experiences loss, I do value the support from those who have also experienced and healed from it.

    I read your blog two years ago while I was pregnant (and even birthing) my daughter, and you were so empowering. I know this post is old, but it brings me comfort and peace. Thank you for your story, I’m so sorry for your loss, and congratulations on your family.

    1. awwww mama.I’m sorry for what you went through and are going through. I’m glad I could help even in a small way. I’m here for you!

  22. Hi Heather,
    Thanks for sharing your story!
    My story is very similar to yours. I got pregnant on the first month that we decided to start trying and I stopped birth control. Then I had my First miscarriage at 12 weeks, waited 3 months as the doctor recommend and got pregnant again right away, only to have the second miscarriage at 5 weeks. Decided to not wait and now 2 months later, I just found out I’m pregnant again. But my husband and I keep saying things like “if we have this baby” and “if this pregnancy continues” and it makes me so sad that I can’t even properly dream and plan without the trauma of past miscarriages getting in the way. I never realized how traumatized I was, your post really hit home. I keep going to the bathroom half expecting to see blood, it’s such a horrible feeling. And I keep thinking “if I can at least get to 12 weeks okay, then we can start planning”, but I’m not even sure the fear won’t accompany me past that. Anyway, I just wanted to share that it made me feel better to read that you went through something very similar and survived and had your baby. Thanks again for sharing! Much love!

    1. I know it can be tough but it makes it a little less lonely to know that other women are going through it with you. I’m here for you, mama!

  23. Thank you for this post. A week ago today, I miscarried at 12 weeks. The saddest part is that the ultrasound still showed a strong heartbeat just an hour before I delivered. I don’t know why my body rejected the pregnancy, but we are finding comfort in knowing the first person to hold our child was Jesus. I had a miscarriage at 4 weeks 2 years ago and an ectopic 1 year ago. My heart desperately wants to try again soon, but the fear of another loss is so real.

    1. Aww Kelsie, I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers! I totally understand that fear. But I know you will complete your family one day!

  24. Thank you so much for writing this. It really feels like you looked into my mind and heart and wrote exactly how I am feeling and thinking. I am currently 7 weeks with my double rainbow baby and it has been such a hard journey already. Every time I go to the bathroom or I start to feel ‘normal’ I think something is wrong or I will relive that horrible day over again when I miscarried at 6 weeks. My previous pregnancy before my miscarriage was a fatal birth; she had Trisomy 13 and it was a very emotional and extremely hard time and journey. Thank you so much for writing this and helping me to now feel so alone.

  25. Hi Heather, thank you for writing this post. You wrote exactly what everyone felt/is feeling when they been through a miscarriage.. like i have this February, we found out i was pregnant straight away at 4 weeks, never saw blood, just that the baby stopped developing at 5w6d then had to go in hospital and miscarry. It was our first time and i had been wanting to become a mother for as long as i can remember. I was devastated and during the same time my best friend was due with her first baby. Rollercoaster of emotions. I am now pregnant again and have our first scan booked this Thursday.. I haven’t been sleeping properly for a week, even though the first two weeks were kins of ok. Last weekend i started experiencing major anxiety, to the point where I couldn’t snap out of it at work. Reading this post made me hopeful but there’s still that ‘but’ before our first ultrasound. Reading your section regarding having barely or no symptoms at all during this pregnancy, made me hopeful 🙏🏼. My ob-gyn had prescribed me progesterone, aspirin and vit d to start when i get a positive test, which i did and i have good faith in him. I had changed my gynaecologist after my miscarriage as I didn’t feel that good connection with my last during the time i needed her most. I had been her patient for 5 years. Hoping and praying for a heartbeat 🤍 thanks again! X

    1. Congratulations Althea. I know it’s so hard to stay positive sometimes but I’m sending all the positive vibes your way!

  26. Breena Dunstan says:

    Hi Heather – thank you for posting this. It hit home in every way I needed right now. 5 weeks ago we had an ultrasound with no heartbeat for my baby Riley. Yesterday I had a checkup ultrasound that showed I had ovulated again already. It felt like the ultimate betrayal, not only have all my friends and family started moving on from the loss (even though I still cry daily) now my very body was pushing forward to something I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for. It can feel so lonely in this bubble of loss, but you words have encouraged me, thank you so much.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss, Breena. I totally hear what you’re saying about feeling like you and you’re body aren’t on the same side. I felt that way for a little while too. Prayers for you, girlfriend! You’re not alone, even though I know it feels that way.

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