Unlocking the Secrets to a Positive Breastfeeding Experience Starting With The Very First Latch

Sharing is caring!

As a labor and delivery nurse I experience a whole lot of first latches with mamas and their brand new (not even 2 hrs old) babies and what I often find is that that first latch can be stressful, confusing, and often really defeating even for the mama who was 100% sure she would breastfeed. And unfortunately, those first moments as a newly breastfeeding mama can make the whole breastfeeding experience…not so positive.

Click here to scroll to the bottom of this post to see the quick-look podcast show notes for this episode.

I find myself constantly reassuring, supporting, and trying to convince new mamas that what they are experiencing with that first latch is really common and even NORMAL. But more often than not, they look at me with a look that I know all too well. They want to believe me..but they don’t.

Many of these mamas mentally give up on what they had set as their very own personal goals right away in those first moments because they cannot believe that what I’m telling them is true. That this is what breastfeeding a newborn looks like for many if not most women. This is normal. This is expected…and the hard parts of this early breastfeeding experience IS TEMPORARY. 

I wish that I could reach every new mama before this moment and I could tell them the honest truth instead of allowing them to rely on idealistic breastfeeding information that floats around on the internet or honestly, the opposite as well. Many times the negative stories and experiences that they’ve heard are just too loud in the back of their mind to hear or believe the truth that their experience can be different. Your breastfeeding experience can be good and positive even if it’s not easy right away. 

A positive breastfeeding experience doesn’t necessarily mean that everything was easy and came 100% naturally and that you didn’t hit any bumps in the road. It can simply mean that you knew what to do and how to handle the roadblocks or left turns that surprised you along your breastfeeding journey but never defeated you. 

The Roller Coaster of the Early Days

When it comes to breastfeeding, there are often misconceptions that can create unnecessary stress or disappointment. But every baby and mother are unique, and there's a wide range of normalcy when it comes to latch, milk supply, and baby's behavior. 

The First Latch: Reality vs Expectations

The Stresses of the First Latch

As a new mom, you might imagine that the first latch is going to be a serene moment. But the truth is, it’s not always like that. It can be stressful, confusing, and sometimes deflating. But let me tell you, it’s normal!

The Challenges: Pain, Milk Supply, and Baby's Participation

Pain, concerns about milk supply, and baby’s participation in breastfeeding are common hurdles that many new moms face in the early hours, days, and weeks of breastfeeding.

Overcoming Pain While Breastfeeding

Does breastfeeding hurt? We are told over and over again that “no. Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt” and “if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong” or “if you feel pinching, unlatch and try again”. All of these things CAN be absolutely true. In general, breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt and sometimes the pain of breastfeeding is simply a latch issue and when you get some help with your latch, the pain resolves and all is good in the world again. 

But other times, and quite frequently, I might add, it’s not the latch. Sometimes mothers are feeling really intense, toe curling pain on that initial latch but the latch looks GREAT!

Understanding and Coping with Initial Pain

So here’s the truth. Sometimes breastfeeding hurts. Even when you’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. Even when the latch is good. Even when there is nothing to fix. SOMETIMES pain is part of the normal process of doing this brand new thing that your body isn’t used to yet. 

Here’s the trick. If your latch is painful, here’s what I DONT want you to do. I don’t want you to give up and say “I have a bad latch”. Latch is fixable.

But if the lactation support and a “good latch” really isn’t taking away that pain… know this- 

Sometimes, our bodies take some time to get used to a tiny little mouth suckling on it. So, if your latch is painful but the pain only lasts 30-60 seconds and then goes away and is no longer painful while your baby nurses on your breast after that initial 30-60 seconds, allow them to stay latched and nurse.

You're training your body to get used to this new sensation of a baby latching onto your breast and your allowing your baby the practice he or she needs to get good at nursing without constantly being unlatched a million times. Sometimes this season of a painful initial latch can last 1-2  weeks while you adjust.

I had this pain with all three of my babies and I know how hard it can be. But don’t let anyone tell you it’s not “normal”. It is. Is it ideal? No of course not. I would love to have my 3 day old newborn latch on and not have to think twice about it. But it is “normal”. And telling women that they aren’t “normal” or their experience isn’t “normal” if they are having temporary, short term, pain while nursing is leading to more women giving up before they’ve given themselves  a fair chance. 

Addressing Concerns About Milk Supply

As a mother, it is our instinct to feed our baby and to make sure that they are filling their bellies and feeling satisfied by their milk. So when baby is fussy or won’t sleep well or wants to constantly suckle, it’s really common for mom to land straight on the conclusion that it’s her milk supply that’s the problem.

“I don’t have enough” “I’m not making milk” “She’s not getting anything”.

If you’ve ever thought this, you’re not alone. But the truth? No one has a flowing milk supply at birth. We aren’t meant to. Colostrum is your baby’s first milk and is the MOST incredible and MOST beneficial milk that your body will ever make. It comes in small amounts on purpose.

Your body knows what it's doing. If all you’re getting out when you express your breast is a few drops of clear, white, or yellow liquid, that’s absolutely perfect. A few drops isn’t “just ok”. A few drops isn’t “satisfactory but you should work on it”. It’s not “fine but maybe you should supplement”. It’s incredible. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what you should be making. 

Trusting the Process

Your body makes a small amount of colostrum (or baby’s first milk) for the first 3-5 days (yes, that’s right, you might not have full milk yet for nearly a week and that’s ok). Not ok, actually. It’s normal, typical and good. It’s enough. The reason for this small amount of milk is because baby’s belly is so small at birth. Basically the size of a small marble and it can only comfortably hold a very small amount of liquid at a time.

It is important that your baby doesn’t get a big meal and then feel satisfied for many hours afterwards. Instead, it’s important that your baby takes a small amount of milk, falls asleep, and then wakes often to get another small dose of that liquid gold. This is because the more frequent baby is latching and suckling onto the breast, the more robust and abundant your milk supply will be when it DOES come in in a few days. 

So when you see those small drops of liquid and think “that’s it?”, YES that’s it. That’s all your baby needs and it’s absolutely perfect and ideal for them. 

And the good news is that if you trust this process now, in the beginning, and you continue to latch your baby and you continue to let them nurse without worrying about how much they are getting or if they are getting enough, and you just trust the process and listen to your baby’s cues, you’ll see that milk supply will be less of an issue later on because of it. 

Understanding Baby's Participation in Breastfeeding

Sometimes after birth mom is so ready to bond with her baby by nursing and we’ve all heard what a natural process breastfeeding is. So they try to latch their baby only to find that it’s not coming so easily to their newborn. Either baby is too sleepy and constantly falls asleep on the breast without getting what we think is a “full feeding” or they are fussy and crying and no matter how often you try to force the nipple in their mouth they continue to fuss like they have no idea that this is their food source. Both of these scenarios are normal. Birth is exhausting. For you AND for baby.

The 4 Key Tips to Cultivate a Positive Breastfeeding Experience

A positive breastfeeding journey doesn’t happen by chance; it requires preparation, perseverance, and the right mindset. Here are four essential tips that you can use from day one and throughout your breastfeeding journey.

Tip 1: Embrace Mindset Shifts for a positive breastfeeding experience

The mindset with which you approach breastfeeding can make a world of difference. If you're not well-informed, the challenges might seem overwhelming. But here’s the thing – some of these challenges are normal and temporary. The initial pain, the baby falling asleep while nursing, and concerns about milk supply are common among nursing mothers.

Shift your mindset by seeing these as learning experiences rather than obstacles. Understand that it’s normal not to have much milk initially, it's ideal that you can't see how much milk is getting into the baby’s belly, and that it’s fine for your baby to fall asleep while nursing. Accept these challenges with an open heart and arm yourself with knowledge; you’ll find yourself more at peace and in control.

Tip 2: Build a Strong Support System for a positive breastfeeding experience

Breastfeeding can be a taxing experience physically and emotionally. Surround yourself with a network of support, which can include your partner, family, friends, and lactation experts. It's not just about encouragement; support can also be in the form of practical help like providing meals or comfort.

Moreover, invest in breastfeeding gear to make the process smoother. Pillows, nursing bras, nipple creams, and pumps can relieve physical discomfort and make breastfeeding more manageable.

Tip 3: Set Short-Term, Achievable Goals for breastfeeding

While it’s great to have long-term breastfeeding goals, it’s equally important to have short-term, achievable goals to keep you motivated. These goals should be personalized and aligned with your circumstances. Instead of focusing on a year-long commitment, set smaller milestones, like making it through the first few weeks or until the six-week mark. Reaching these smaller goals will make you feel successful, capable, and more positive about your long-term breastfeeding journey.

Tip 4: Invest in Prenatal Preparation to help prepare for a positive breastfeeding experience

Knowledge is power, and prenatal education can be your superpower. Enrolling in breastfeeding courses or seeking guidance from lactation consultants can provide you with insights and strategies to overcome challenges. This preparation will reduce stress and empower you to handle the hurdles more confidently.

One such breastfeeding course is “Milkies Like You Mean It.” This course covers everything you need to know for preparing, overcoming breastfeeding struggles, and achieving your breastfeeding and pumping goals.

The Path to a Positive Breastfeeding Experience

Breastfeeding is a journey with its own set of challenges, but with the right mindset, support, realistic goal setting, and preparation, you can create a positive breastfeeding experience. The first step is to go in expecting the challenges and equip yourself with the resources to overcome them.

Remember, mama, no matter what your goals are, you can have a positive breastfeeding experience.