The Top Three Things You Need To Know As A New Mom: A New Mom’s Guide

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It's time that we talk about three really important truths that you need to hear if you're a new (or newish) mom. And these apply regardless of where you are in your journey. If you’re pregnant and preparing to bring home your first baby this is definitely going to be an episode to keep in your pocket as you learn and grow in this new season and if you have a new baby or a full house of babies, these reminders can definitely be helpful for you too.

 It took me approximately 2 seconds to come up with these three things that I want you to know as a new mom because these were big hang ups that had me stressed and often feeling like I wasn’t doing enough or doing it right when it came to raising my babies and I definitely wish someone told me this when I was still feeling like I was a new mama just trying to figure it all out as a first time mom. 

Click here to scroll to the bottom of this post to see the quick-look podcast show notes for this episode.

1. Thee is no secrete that “Good” moms know that you don't

There is No Secret to Being a “Good” Mom

As a new mom, it's easy to fall into the comparison trap. You might see other moms who seem to have it all figured out, effortlessly managing their babies' sleep patterns, food habits, and outings, while you struggle with seemingly unending baby tasks.

Sometimes, you might find yourself desperate for a solution, believing that these moms or influencers hold some secret that you don’t know. Here's the truth: there is no secret that “good” moms know that you don't. If you weren’t a good mom, you wouldn’t care so much. You're already the good mom you're searching for in your online quests.

Every Mom is Figuring It Out

Remember, every mom has her own set of struggles that you might not see. A calm baby might have issues you haven't thought of, simply because it's not a problem for you and your baby.

When you see mothers who seem to have it all figured out, you're seeing mothers who have learned through trial and error. It's crucial to understand that you are also learning new tricks every day that will help your baby thrive. We are all just figuring it out as we go.

2. Your Baby Doesn't need two of YOU

Parenting Styles Don’t Need to Be Identical

It's common for new moms to believe they've figured out the best way to care for their baby, and then feel frustrated when their partner does things differently. Your spouse might have a different way of playing with the baby or caring for them, which could seem strange to you at first.

But remember, your baby doesn't need two of YOU. Your children will be just as happy and safe with their dad, even if his bedtime routine differs from yours. Parenting is about complementing each other's efforts, not duplicating them.

Different Caregivers Bring Different Strengths

Just as with parents, it’s also important to let go of control when it comes to grandparents or other caregivers. A caregiver doesn’t have to follow your exact routine for your child to thrive. As long as your baby is safe and cared for, introducing new activities, ways of play, or caregivers could be a positive experience.

3. You're not doing it “wrong”

Aside from obvious things like safety, there is no universal wrong or right in parenting. When you come to a fork in the road and you realize that you have to make a choice, should I do THIS or THAT, should I do it THIS WAY or THIS OTHER WAY, should I take this advice or go with my gut and do it this other way, know in you heart that you are not going to do it “wrong”. Most of the time there isn’t a right answer and a wrong answer and you're at this critical point where if you make the “wrong” choice you’re going to mess everything up and you can’t ever go back. 

I know it seems like it sometimes when you’re desperate for change or you’ve been struggling with this one hard phase for a while and you feel like you need to do something but you don’t know what the right thing is. 

But making “mistakes” is part of the journey. It’s how we learn and grow as parents. And most of the decisions that we make for our kids can be made over time. You can choose one path today and then adjust as you see fit tomorrow. Sometimes it feels like you’re going to make a big decision for your kid and if it’s the “wrong” choice you’re going to be stuck with it and mess them up forever. 

Parenting is About Love, Dedication, and Effort

Instead of striving for perfection, remember that parenting is about love, dedication, and effort. As long as you’re doing your best, that’s the best you can do. Each “wrong” choice is a step towards learning and growth, making you a better parent.

Conclusion

So, mama. I hope you’re feeling good today about who you are or who you’re going to be as a mama. Probably not perfect, but MORE than enough for your baby. You were created with your child in mind. You were given this sweet baby because they were meant for you and you for them. There is no better parent out there for your baby than you and your kiddo won’t notice when you mess something up here or there or when their routine changes a little bit when the day gets rocky. All they see is a mama who loves them and is doing their very best.