Help! My Baby Won’t Stop Crying: What to Do Next

Welcoming a newborn into the world is one of my all-time favorite moments in life, but it can also come with its fair (wait, maybe it's more unfair than fair?) share of challenges. One of the most stressful situations new parents face is when their baby won't stop crying no matter how hard you try. It's natural to feel overwhelmed and anxious when your best efforts to soothe your little one seem to fall short. Trust me – I've been there. But don't worry. This post will help you understand why your baby is crying and provide you with effective strategies to calm your inconsolable newborn.

Wondering who I am and why I'm giving advice? I'm a mom of three and a labor and delivery nurse. I've assisted in thousands of births and helped countless women on their journey to an empowered motherhood journey. I want to bring my knowledge and genuine mom advice to you. I'm so glad you're here. If you're looking for someone to talk to or lean on in this new mom life, I'm your girl.

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Understand Why Your Baby Is Crying

Why Do Newborns Cry?

Babies cry for various reasons, and understanding these can help you respond more effectively. But there are more reasons than you might think. I know we've all heard that all babies do all day is eat, poop, and sleep, right? But that doesn't mean those are all of their needs or emotions. There is a lot more to it than that. We just need to get clued in on some more causes of newborn hysteria. Let's take a look:

Hunger

Obviously, one of the most common reasons a baby cries is hunger. Babies have tiny stomachs and need to eat frequently. I know that you're feeding your baby, and you're probably following all of the guidelines that you've been told. Maybe you're even setting a timer for every 2-3 hours to make sure they are getting enough. You're a good mama, and you're doing an incredible job. But I hate to break it to you—your baby might still be hungry.

What many new parents don't realize is that your baby was getting “fed” continuously in the womb. They never experienced hunger – even if you did. Your baby never had those uncomfortable tummy rumbles until they were born and realized that hunger existed and they certainly didn't like the feeling of it…not even for a short time.

Your baby might want to eat more frequently than the “typical” every 2-3 hours. And that's ok. It's called cluster feeding. Especially if you're breastfeeding, try not to feed your baby on the clock but instead feed your baby based on cues and allow them to suckle even if you just fed them an hour ago and “they cannot possibly be hungry”. Those are every nursing mother's famous last words.

Watch for feeding cues such as sucking on their hands or lip-smacking and offer the breast or bottle before they start to cry for it. And keep in mind that cluster feeding is normal and not a clue that your milk supply is low. You cannot overfeed a breastfed baby. So don't be afraid to latch if nothing else is working.

Dirty Diaper

A wet or dirty diaper can cause discomfort and lead to crying. Regularly check and change your baby's diaper to keep them clean and comfortable. Most disposable diapers now have a “wetness indicator” on them so that you can visualize that the color turned blue and their diaper needs a change. This works really well for urine but not for poop. So you'll have to peek inside frequently to ensure that they aren't sitting in poop.

Discomfort or Pain

Babies may cry if they are in pain or discomfort. This could be due to gas, colic, or even teething. The trouble is that they can't tell you that something hurts when it does. They may cry but they can't tell you what's causing the discomfort so it's left for you to figure out. Some common sources of pain for babies are:

Gas – if the baby is frequently or forcefully kicking their legs or bringing them in toward the belly and then stretching them back out, they may be struggling to get a gas bubble out.
Reflux – if baby arches their back after feedings or cough frequently during feedings, they may be experiencing painful infant acid reflux – even if they aren't spitting much up.
Hair tourniquet – You may not believe this, but it's true. One of the hairs off of your own head can make its way around your baby's finger, toe, or penis and create a tight, uncomfortable, and even dangerous tourniquet cutting off the circulation to the area. So, if baby isn't settling, check their fingers, toes, and private parts to make sure there isn't a tiny, thin, but tight tourrniquet around your baby causing serious pain or injury.
Teething—Honestly, teething gets blamed far too often. Every parent everywhere wonders if their baby is teething whenever they drool and cry in the same night. But rest assured, teething is usually only for a few days when the tooth is trying to break through. So keep an eye on your baby's gums for redness, swelling, or a tiny white fang coming through.
Hot or Cold – Getting the temperature right in the room can be a bit of a challenge when you're trying to calculate recommendations vs what they are wearing vs the temperature outside, vs whether or not you're going to swaddle them. It can be a bit of a challenge to figure out. But to get the best sleep temperature for your baby, start by setting your thermostat to somewhere in the range of 68-72 Fahrenheit and dress your baby in the same number of layers that you're wearing. There is no need to bundle your baby. Just keep them just as bundled as you are comfortably in your home. Then, feel your baby's chest or back of the neck. Cold? They either need another layer or the thermostat needs to go up a bit. Hot or clammy? Take off a layer or make the room cooler.

Overstimulation

Too much noise, light, or activity can overwhelm a newborn, leading to crying. Creating a calm environment can help reduce overstimulation. If your baby has been around a lot of lights, movement, sounds, conversation, TV, Podcasts, barking dogs, and everything else going on in your house and by the end of the day they are just inconsolable, it's likely that they have been stimulated all day long and is just over it.

The only way to snap them out of this overstimulation trap is to create the most low-stimulation environment possible.

Dark room
Low white or pink noise
Swaddled
Slow, rhythmic rocking

Need for Sleep

Newborns need a lot of sleep, and they can become overtired easily. An overtired baby may find it difficult to fall asleep and cry when you try to give them exactly what they need – sleep! If you've marked everything else off the list, but your baby is fighting sleep regardless of what you do, they are probably overtired.

I know that it's hard to believe that keeping your baby up a few minutes too long can cause them to lose their minds at bedtime, but it's true.

By the time I had my third baby, I had mastered the wake window. A wake window is a window of time when it's appropriate for your baby to be awake before you offer them sleep again. You might be surprised at how incredibly short wake windows can be – especially with newborns! I'm talking 60 minutes awake before encouraging another nap.

Because wake windows are so short and not talked about enough, it's really easy to miss them and allow your baby to get overtired, leading to inconsolable crying until you finally get them to sleep.

Need for Comfort

Sometimes, babies just need to be held and comforted. They might be seeking the warmth and security of their mama's arms. Just because all of their needs that you can see are met, doesn't mean that they will automatically be happy outside of your arms. Although it's hard, sometimes there is no consoling a baby unless they can touch and smell their mother.

Immediate Steps to Take

Swaddling

Swaddling can provide a sense of security and warmth, similar to the womb. Use a soft blanket to wrap your baby snugly, ensuring their hips can move freely.

Rocking or Gentle Bouncing

Rocking or gently bouncing your baby can mimic the motion they experienced in the womb. Use a rocking chair, baby swing, or simply rock them in your arms.

White Noise or Soothing Sounds

White noise, such as a fan, vacuum cleaner, or a white noise machine, can help calm a fussy baby. You can also try soothing sounds like gentle lullabies or nature sounds.

Pacifier Use

Sucking is a natural reflex that can be very soothing for babies. Offering a pacifier can help calm your crying baby and provide comfort.

Skin-to-Skin Contact

Holding your baby close with skin-to-skin contact can be incredibly calming. This method helps regulate their temperature, breathing, and heart rate, promoting a sense of security.

Advanced Soothing Methods

The Five S’s by Dr. Harvey Karp

Dr. Harvey Karp's Five S’s are a set of techniques designed to mimic the womb environment and calm a crying baby:

Swaddle

Swaddling, as mentioned earlier, helps recreate the snugness of the womb. Ensure you wrap your baby securely but not too tightly, allowing for hip movement.

Side/Stomach Position

Hold your baby on their side or stomach (while supervised) to help reduce crying. This position can be more comforting than lying on their back.

Shush

Shushing sounds mimic the whooshing noises babies hear in the womb. You can create these sounds yourself or use a white noise machine.

Swing

Gently swinging or swaying your baby can have a calming effect. Use a baby swing or rock them in your arms with gentle, rhythmic movements.

Suck

Encourage your baby to suck on a pacifier, your finger, or the breast. Sucking is naturally soothing and can help calm a crying baby.

Babywearing

Babywearing involves carrying your baby in a sling or carrier, keeping them close to your body. This method has several benefits for soothing a newborn:

Benefits of Babywearing

Closeness and Security: Babywearing provides the warmth and security of being close to a parent.
Hands-Free Comfort: It allows you to keep your baby close while freeing up your hands to do other tasks.
Ease of Movement: The gentle motion of your movements can help calm your baby.

Recommended Carriers and Positions

Ring Slings: Offer a snug fit and are easy to adjust.
Soft-Structured Carriers: Provide support and are suitable for longer periods of babywearing.
Wraps: Versatile and can be tied in various positions to suit your comfort and your baby's needs.

Creating a Calm Environment

Dimming Lights

Reducing the lighting in your home can help create a more soothing atmosphere for your baby. Dim lights or use soft, indirect lighting to create a calming environment.

Reducing Noise

Minimize loud noises and sudden sounds that can startle your baby. Keep the noise level low and use white noise machines to mask disruptive sounds.

Creating a Bedtime Routine

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help signal to your baby that it's time to sleep. Include calming activities such as a warm bath, gentle massage, and reading a bedtime story.

Conclusion

Caring for a newborn who won't stop crying can be incredibly challenging, but with patience and the right techniques, you can soothe your baby and find peace. Remember to check for basic needs, use comfort techniques, and try advanced soothing methods like the Five S’s and babywearing. If your baby’s crying persists or you notice signs of illness, consult a pediatrician. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and seek help when needed. You're doing an amazing job, and this phase will pass. Share your experiences or ask questions in the comments below.