I don’t think it’s just me. I’m sure that these are the top ten totally ordinary things that moms hate if toddlers are running around. Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. My son is an angel straight from heaven, I swear. Being a mom is amazing and I would never want my life any other way. But can I admit something to you?
Having a toddler makes me hate very normal things in my life.
Have you ever looked around and realized that you hate things that you never thought twice about before? Oh, you’re a mom. So of course you have.
I wish there was a warning label on these things that says “WARNING. Purchase at your own risk. If you care for a small child that does not yet form full sentences and doesn’t understand the difference between life threatening risk and an uncomfortable situation, be ware that this item can cause serious harm to your mental well-being”. Is that so much to ask?
I hope you can find humor in this post. If you’re feeling like we are on the same page, hey, I’m glad I’m not alone. We are in this together. Maybe one day these things won’t make me want to throw my hands up in surrender. But for now, I have a toddler.
Ten Things That Moms Hate When Raising Toddlers
1. Front loading washer & dryers
The buttons are in the front of the machine, you guys. Who thought this was a good idea? It was a BAD IDEA. The moment my son learned how to stand, he was fascinated by the buttons on the washer and dryer. Oh, you just want me to avoid having my child in the laundry room? That’s funny. I do laundry all day long. If I could just keep my child in a cage, I would, but I think that might be frowned upon.
First, I load the washing machine with all of the dirty clothes that are probably soaked with something. Maybe that “something” is stain remover…maybe it’s soaked in urine. Who knows. But it’s soaked non-the less. So I have a choice, let my toddler that’s attached to my leg play in the soaked dirty laundry or let him press the buttons on the washing machine as I load it.
Second, I’m putting the sopping clean clothes into the dryer and it’s exactly the same situation as before except now his hands are covered in peanut butter and he gives you an ultimatum. Let me push all of the buttons, or let me touch the clean clothes with my peanut butter fingers. The choice is yours, mom.
2. Loading the dish washer
Just thinking about loading the dish washer with my toddler around makes me feel anxious. My hands are wet from rinsing the dishes that were probably covered in some combination of old milk and ketchup, the dishwasher door is open and whispering to my son “come stand on me”, and I’m trying to load fragile plates into the washer in some fashion that makes sense while simultaneously trying to keep knives out of my toddler’s hands.
I just can’t.
…are the worst. Period.
Toddlers can’t blow bubbles. Yet, somehow bubbles end up in toddler’s hands all too often. My toddler LOVES bubbles. If he finds out that blowing bubbles is an option, he will make you blow bubbles for him endlessly. It doesn’t sound that bad until you realize that he also wants to hold the bottle, spilling it everywhere, and also take the wand from you every five seconds. The wand? Why would he want to hold the wand if he wants you to blow the bubbles?
Because he’s a toddler and he wants both.
4. Any bag that isn’t a satchel or a backpack
My poor husband bought me a beautiful handbag that I had had my eye on for a long time for my birthday last year. It was exactly what I wanted.
I never use it.
If it isn’t a satchel that I can hang across my body or a backpack that stays put, I’m just not interested. The feeling of my purse falling from it’s rightful place every time I bend over to pick up my toddler, hand him a snack, wipe the dirt off of his face, or pick up something he dropped would drive me absolutely mad. I feel like I may never hold a purse again.
5. Toilet paper rolls
Moms don’t get to pee alone. That’s a well known fact. Toddlers want to be right where you are at all times (unless you’re at the store or in a crowd, because then he wants to be as far away as possible). So, as we sit on the toilet, they try their best to find something to entertain themselves. It’s always the toilet paper roll.
It gets even worse when the toddler is the one sitting on the toilet. Ever since we potty trained our toddler, our toilet paper rolls are now placed out of reach. Inconvenient for everyone, yes, but at least my sanity (and the roll of toilet paper) is intact.
The hate for balloons started on my son’s first birthday. We bought him balloons for the first time.nI was so excited to see how he would react to them.
Oh, toddlers love balloons. It’s so cute to watch them play with them…for about two seconds. That’s all the time it takes for you to realize that you suddenly hate balloons. Not only are they a choking hazard if they pop, but they have literally no purpose. They do nothing entertaining and yet your toddler throws a fit every time the damn thing ends up on the ceiling.
We tried everything to get our toddler to hold onto the balloon so it wouldn’t float away. We tied it to all the things, we would repeatedly hand it to him, etc. Nothing works. Toddlers are never happy with their balloons. It’s like me with a new kitchen appliance- I want it until I have it and then I don’t know what to do with it.
Related Read: First Birthday Gift Ideas That You Wont Regret
7. Every drawer in your entire house
If you child-proof your drawers by putting locks on them, it’s a pain in the butt to get into the drawer every single time you need a spoon. If you don’t lock it, they can get into it and pull out only the most dangerous items housed in that specific drawer.
The frustration of my toddler getting a drawer open is not always about what’s inside. Sometimes it’s just as much fun for him to hang on the edge of the drawer with his feet off of the ground to see how long it takes for the drawer to break.
Last but not least, if your drawers are attached to a large piece of furniture like a dresser, you have to worry about your toddler opening one too many drawers at a time and being crushed by the weight of an entire dresser falling forward onto him.
I hate drawers.
8. Light Switches
My two year old is the perfect hight so that he can turn off all of the lights, but he can’t flip them back on. As mentioned in #5, my son likes to come to the bathroom with me. So not only am I peeing with an audience, but often I am also peeing in the dark.
My toddler enjoys turning off every light switch in the house. I could be in the middle of cooking dinner in the evening, or reading him a book before bed and he will just decide that the light is no longer necessary and turn it off.
That’s not even the most annoying part. Once the light is off, he realizes that he can’t turn the light back on and asks for assistance in turning the lights back on until you stop whatever it is your doing to turn the light back on that he literally just turned off.
I’m only kind of kidding. I love my dog. I really do. My husband and I have had our dog for much longer than we have been parents. Not only do my husband and I love her, but my toddler also loves our dog. Having a pet wonderful during childhood and I am glad my son is getting that opportunity. If I am being honest, there are many more benefits to having a pet than their are things to hate about it. But it still belongs on the list.
Did anyone else completely overlook how inconvenient it is to have a pet until you also had a toddler?
- The poop in the backyard that has to constantly be picked up unless I want it all over my son’s feet and toys (is it weird that my dog poops three times a day, by the way?).
- My toddler is the messiest eater and my dog is constantly begging for food that she knows will eventually be dropped
- I already have enough bodily fluid responsibilities in this house, dog vomit should not have to be another one of them.
- When I finally put my son down to sleep, that is the exact time that my dog wants to play. Can I just get a little me time where no one is expecting anything of me?
Related Read: Why Every Mom Needs To Make “Me Time” A Priority
10. Talking on the phone
I used to love talking on the phone. I know that that’s not really a “millennial” thing to say, but it’s true. Talking on the phone is a favorite past time.
Well, not anymore. My toddler has to be holding the phone, pressing the buttons, and looking at himself in the camera in order to be happy while I am on the phone.
If I’m face -timing, oh forget it. He holds the phone in such a way that he can see the other person perfectly but so that they can only see his forehead. I think he’s doing it on purpose.
The list of things I love is so much longer
This was a nice little “vent” post that I know many of you will relate to. But I also know that the list of wonderful things that I have began to appreciate since having a toddler is much longer. Having small children to love and teach and share your life with is an absolute blessing. Just avoid these ten things. 😉