First-Time Mom Advice: 7 Things No One Tells You Before Birth

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Becoming a parent for the first time is exciting, overwhelming, and filled with more advice than you ever asked for. Everyone—from your best friend to that stranger in the grocery store—has something to say about what you should or shouldn’t do. But here’s the thing: nothing fully prepares you for the moment you hold your baby in your arms for the first time.

As a mom of three and a labor and delivery nurse, I’ve been in the trenches—both personally and professionally. I’ve seen first-time parents navigate labor with confidence, and I’ve also watched them spiral into self-doubt, simply because no one told them what really matters. That’s why I’m sharing the first-time mom advice I wish every expecting parent knew before birth.

These aren’t the Pinterest-perfect, sugar-coated tips you’ll find in a baby book. This is real talk—the kind of honest, practical guidance that can actually make your transition into parenthood smoother, less stressful, and a whole lot more enjoyable.

So whether you’re nervous about labor, worried about sleep deprivation, or just wondering what to expect, let’s dive in. Because you’ve got this, and I’m here to help.

1. Labor Will Test You—But You’re Stronger Than You Think

Labor is one of those things that people either try to scare you about or completely sugarcoat. The truth? It’s one of the most intense, unpredictable, and life-altering experiences you’ll ever go through. But here’s what I want you to know: you are stronger than you think, and your body was made to do this.

Most first-time moms expect labor to follow a neat timeline—contractions will start, you'll time them, head to the hospital, and have your baby a few hours later. But in reality, labor can be long, exhausting, and emotionally draining. You might question yourself, feel frustrated by how slow things seem to be moving, or even wonder if you can handle it. And you can.

What helps? Preparation and mindset. Instead of fearing labor, learn about it. Understand how contractions work, what your pain relief options are, and how to stay as calm as possible. Fear makes pain worse, but confidence and knowledge can make the experience more manageable.

You don’t have to have a “perfect birth” for it to be a powerful and positive experience. Whether your labor is fast or slow, medicated or unmedicated, vaginal or cesarean—your birth story is valid. And no matter how it unfolds, the moment you meet your baby will make every challenge worth it.

2. You Will Question Everything in the First Few Weeks

No matter how much you prepare, nothing truly compares to the moment you bring your baby home for the first time. One second, you’re surrounded by nurses and support, and the next, you’re staring at this tiny human, wondering, “What do I do now?”

Let me reassure you—it’s completely normal to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. Every first-time mom goes through a phase of second-guessing every decision. Is the baby eating enough? Why won’t they stop crying? Are they too hot or too cold? Should I wake them up or let them sleep? The questions are endless, and Google will become both your best friend and your worst enemy.

The truth is, newborns don’t follow a script—and neither does motherhood. What worked for someone else might not work for you, and that’s okay. The best thing you can do is tune out the noise, trust your instincts, and take it one moment at a time. Babies are resilient, and so are you.

Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on getting through each day with patience and grace. You don’t have to have all the answers right away—you just have to love your baby and learn as you go.

3. Breastfeeding Is Natural, But It’s Also a Learned Skill

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as this beautiful, effortless bond between mother and baby—and while it can be that, it’s not always easy in the beginning. Breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn’t mean it comes naturally.

Many first-time moms are caught off guard by the challenges: painful latches, low supply worries, cluster feeding marathons, and the pressure to “get it right.” If breastfeeding feels hard at first, please know this: it’s not because you’re failing—it’s because both you and your baby are learning.

The first few weeks are all about figuring it out together. Some moms struggle with milk supply, others battle nipple pain, and many wonder if their baby is getting enough milk. Seeking help early makes a world of difference. A lactation consultant, nurse, or experienced mom can help you adjust your baby’s latch, troubleshoot supply concerns, and boost your confidence.

That being said, breastfeeding is not the only path to a well-fed, thriving baby. If you need to pump, supplement, or formula-feed, that’s okay too. The real goal is a healthy baby and a sane, supported mom. However you choose to feed your baby, know that you’re doing an amazing job.

Related Read: 17 Burning Breastfeeding Questions That All Nursing Moms are Asking

Related Read: 21 Of The Best Breastfeeding Essentials For Nursing Moms

4. Sleep Deprivation Is Real, But It Won’t Last Forever

You’ve probably heard the jokes—“Sleep now while you can!”—but nothing truly prepares you for the reality of newborn sleep. The first few months can feel like an endless cycle of feeding, rocking, and desperately trying to get your baby to sleep longer than a couple of hours at a time. Sleep deprivation is real, and it’s hard.

The good news? It’s temporary. Your baby will not wake up every two hours forever, even if it feels like it right now. Most newborns have unpredictable sleep patterns, and that’s normal. Their tiny bodies are still learning the difference between day and night, and they wake frequently to eat because their stomachs are so small.

What helps? Lowering expectations, accepting help, and resting whenever you can. If someone offers to hold the baby while you nap, take them up on it. If contact naps are the only thing that works, embrace them for now. If safe co-sleeping helps everyone get more rest, that’s okay too. Do what works for your family, and ignore the pressure to have a “perfect sleeper” right away.

Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Every parent goes through this phase, and it does get better. One day, your baby will sleep longer stretches, and you’ll get to experience the joy of an uninterrupted night. Until then, be gentle with yourself, drink the coffee, and know that this season—exhausting as it is—won’t last forever.

5. You’ll Learn to Do Things One-Handed (And It’s a Superpower)

One of the first things you’ll realize as a new mom is that your hands are never truly your own anymore. Your baby will want to be held—a lot—and somehow, you’ll still need to eat, drink coffee, answer texts, and function like a human being. That’s when you unlock a new skill you never knew you had: doing everything with one hand.

Before you know it, you’ll be making a sandwich, tying your shoes, and even putting on mascara—all while holding a baby. Need to drink your coffee? You’ll master the art of balancing the cup while cradling a newborn. Trying to answer an email? Say hello to your new best friend: voice-to-text.

At first, it may feel overwhelming to always have your arms full, but here’s the good news: you will adapt. Your body and brain will adjust in ways you never expected, and soon, what once seemed impossible will feel like second nature. Motherhood is the ultimate crash course in multitasking, and you’ll surprise yourself with how capable you really are.

And on the days when you just want a break? Baby wraps, bouncers, and letting someone else take over for a bit are lifesavers. You don’t have to do it all—but when you do, know that you are stepping into a new level of strength, patience, and skill that only moms truly understand.

6. You Are Still You—Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It Right Now

Motherhood is one of the biggest identity shifts you will ever experience. The moment your baby is born, you are too—as a mom, a protector, and the person this little human depends on for everything. It’s overwhelming, beautiful, and at times, completely disorienting.

In those first few months, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost yourself. Your days revolve around feeding schedules, diaper changes, and trying to get a few hours of sleep. The things that once made you you—hobbies, interests, even simple self-care routines—might feel impossible to fit into this new life. And that can be really hard.

But here’s what I want you to remember: You are still you. Yes, you are a mother now, but that doesn’t mean you have to let go of everything you loved before. It might take time to figure out how to balance it all, but you deserve to take up space outside of motherhood, too.

Start small—listen to your favorite podcast while feeding the baby, take a few minutes to journal, or ask for help so you can step away for a bit. Motherhood will change you, but it doesn’t have to erase you. And as your baby grows, so will your confidence in this new version of yourself.

7. No One Knows Your Baby Better Than You Do

From the moment you announce your pregnancy, the advice starts pouring in—solicited or not. Family, friends, social media, and even strangers will have strong opinions on how you should give birth, feed your baby, get them to sleep, and basically every decision you’ll ever make as a parent.

At first, it can be overwhelming. You’ll second-guess yourself, compare your choices to what others are doing, and wonder if you’re getting it “right.” But here’s the truth: no one knows your baby better than you do.

Advice can be helpful, but it’s just that—advice. What works for one baby might not work for yours, and that’s okay. You are the expert on your child. You’ll learn their cues, their preferences, and what soothes them faster than anyone else. And if something doesn’t feel right? Trust your instincts.

It’s okay to take in information, but filter it through your own experience and intuition. You don’t need to justify your parenting choices to anyone. Whether you choose to breastfeed or formula-feed, co-sleep or sleep train, use disposable diapers or cloth—what matters most is that your baby is loved, safe, and thriving.

At the end of the day, you are the one who wakes up with them at night, who comforts them when they cry, and who knows that tiny little face better than anyone else in the world. Trust yourself—you’re doing better than you think.

Honest Mom Advice: You’ve Got This!

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this: you are not alone, and you are more capable than you realize. Becoming a parent for the first time is a wild, beautiful, exhausting ride, but you will find your way.

There will be moments of doubt, exhaustion, and trial-and-error. You’ll have days when you feel like you’re nailing it and others when you’re Googling “why won’t my baby stop crying” at 3 AM. That’s normal. That’s motherhood.

But through it all, remember this: you are the best mom for your baby. Not because you have all the answers, but because you love them more than anyone else ever could.

So take a deep breath. Give yourself grace. And know that you don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom. You’ve got this—and you’re going to do an incredible job.

Still Looking For More First-Time Mom Advice?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay… but I still feel a little overwhelmed,” you are so not alone 🤍

The truth is, knowing what to expect is one thing—but actually feeling calm, confident, and prepared when your baby arrives is something completely different.

That’s exactly why I created Momming Like You Mean It: Mastering the Newborn Stage.

Inside, I walk you through everything I wish every first-time mom knew—from newborn sleep, feeding, and soothing to what’s actually normal (and what’s not) in those first few weeks at home. It’s like having a labor and delivery nurse and mom of three right there with you, guiding you step-by-step.

Because you don’t need more random advice from the internet—you need clear, practical support that actually makes those early days feel manageable.

If you’re ready to go into motherhood feeling more prepared, less anxious, and truly supported, you can meet me inside the course and each of the following modules that I created specifically for moms like you:

Momming Like You Mean It: Mastering The Newborn Stage

Module 1: Welcoming Home Baby

Module 2: The Fourth Trimester of Pregnancy

Module 3: Newborn Care

Module 4: Diapering

Module 5: Feeding

Module 6: Sleep

Module 7: Awake Time

Module 8: Routines and Schedules

Module 9: Health & Safety

Module 10: Is This Normal?

Module 11: Baby Challenges

Module 12: Wrap Up

I’d love to walk alongside you in this journey 💛

Did this post help you feel more prepared for motherhood? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop a comment below with the piece of advice that resonated most with you, or share this post with another mama-to-be who needs some encouragement!