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  1. Deimile Soares says:

    This was a pretty long list but so true! Dads actually do those things! My hubs went for a good ole nap after I got my epidural! Ugh… He was much better with the second one but we still had sports on the TV while I was in labor LOL

    1. What’s funny is it could have been longer! haha I keep saying I need to write a book about what men do or say in the delivery room. It’s going to be a good one for sure. Hey, at least your husband improved with your second baby! Honestly, if he had sports on in the room, it’s totally fine if you’re ok with it!

    2. And do not ask for an extra stitch!!!

  2. Great tips for what not to do! Thankfully my husband wasn’t too bad our first go round with our daughter 🙂 He was a pro by the time we had our son.

    1. Oh good! I absolutely love when I see a dad involved and ready to be the best coach he can be right from the start. It warms my heart!

  3. Tamara Goyette says:

    Do pick up your camera or phone and take photos! Do rush over to count your baby’s fingers and toes and tell your wife how perfect your little one is.

  4. I’m so lucky I have a husband smart enough to not do these things, but boy would I be single if he fell asleep… this list made me giggle. Good job!

    1. Yes! The men who pay attention and help their wives deserve praise! You wouldn’t believe how often jusynthe opposite happens.

  5. Still Orphans says:

    Most of this doesn’t bother me personally, but I do want him to be awake and expect to lose sleep watching the baby when I need the sleep. Dads have a lifetime of parenting to do right alongside us, so this one day never felt like the end all be all.

    1. Totally agree with you that they have a lifetime of parenting ahead of them! During labor it’s less about parenting and more about being a supportive partner. We all have very different requirements of our partners in these situations.

  6. I’m feeling like a pretty blessed wife right now. My husband was in it to win it with both deliveries. He handled it like a champ!

    1. Heck yes, girlfriend! That makes such a difference! Go you and your hubby!

  7. hi! just stopped by from bloggers supporting bloggers. nice blog you have! bet its a helpful list for the guys.
    Joy at The Joyous Living

  8. My husband and my mom were the dream team! I appreciated when he told me a contraction was approaching. Other than that your list was spot on.

    1. I love when I hear about dream teams! It makes such a difference doesn’t it?

  9. Yes to all of this! My child’s father was not around during the pregnancy, so I made all the decisions as to what my care and birth plan would be. I chose to use a midwife and have a natural birth in the hospital. I ended up being induced at 42 weeks and needing a csection after 33 hrs of labor. What drove me crazy was he kept asking if I wanted an epidural and also, since things weren’t progressing, when the doctors would get involved. Thankfully I had an RN friend as my labor partner, but to this day, it makes me angry that he was so disdainful and judgmental of the choices I made regarding the birth experience. He’s a great dad now, and very involved, but he was MIA for 8.5 months of pregnancy. He didn’t deserve a say in how things played out.

    1. Jordan, I’m sorry you had that experience! The good thing is that now he’s around. That’s so important. I just wish first time dads were a little more informed about what to expect when their partners are in labor!

  10. My husband told me when I got pregnant that it was not cultural acceptable to be in the delivery room with me. I laughed so hard. He brought it up a few times but when I got to labor he showed up and manned up. He even told the doctor to shut up when he came in the third time asking if I wanted the epidural because I “was screaming still”. I was so grateful.

    1. Oh my! What a story! I’m so glad your husband came around and was there for you!

  11. Great tips but I would also recommend just your husband be in the room for labor. My husband was pretty good but I wished he was by my side more but because his family was in the room he talked with them quite a bit. Also some of the positions they have you in with that many people in the room can make you feel like an exotic zoo animal so my next labor it will be just him in the room.

    1. I totally agree with you! Sometimes it’s nice for it to just be you and him. It gives him more of an opportunity to show you support.

  12. Audrey Schlegel says:

    Fun fact: my husband comes from a country where men used to be pacing outside the delivery room, not inside. This has changed among the younger generation, but he still totally surprised his mother when she asked “have you seen the baby yet?”, when he called announced our daughter was born… by replying “Of course I have, I was here!”.
    Could I have pushed this baby out without him? Yes, probably. It would have been feasible.
    But especially being in another country, hours from closest family and friends, knowing he was here was really comforting.
    And he found ways to make himself useful – such as cleaning up swiftly when I threw up, so I wouldn’t have to smell or see it. Or bringing me water whenever asked.
    Most of all, he behaved like the president of my personal fan club, cheering me on like a supporter at a soccer play. And that was help in itself!

    1. I love this!! It’s amazing how much has changed and how far we have come. Thanks for your story, Audrey!

  13. Some of these are really great, but I definitely think to each his own. I guarantee I’ll be exhausted after labor, getting up all the time to breastfeed or pump, etc. so if my husband wants to try to get a nap in, I say go ahead honey! I’ll need him to watch the baby while I rest! Also, no reason for us both to suffer. I’m due in June so I’ll gladly send him off to watch the College World Series instead of sitting there watching me in agony and unable to do anything. HOWEVER, I will for sure flip my lid if I hear complaints, “are you done?”, “stop crying”, etc. 🙂

    1. I totally agree to each their own! If you feel like you husband won’t be able to help you in any way and “unable to do anything” for you, then I completely agree that there is no reason for him to be there! I actually talk about that in another post too. If you visitors (any visitor) is not contributing to you labor or helping you in some way, then why are they there? To watch the show? So, I get it. If he can’t help and you are ok with him not being in the room (and he’s ok with not being in the room), then sending him to watch the game is probably appropriate! Let me know how everything goes with your labor in June! Good luck, mama!

  14. Wow I’m in tears, this article made me feel so lucky that my husband was such a champ in the delivery room but also makes me feel for the women who’ve had to put up with this kind of behavior! Makes me wonder now after their babies are born if they’re raising their kids and their husbands!
    I was surprised by the things my husband did, I don’t think you know how you or your partner will handle the labor until you’re in it. He was definitely the guy who couldn’t stand to see anyone throw up under other circumstances, but was the one next to me holding the bag and wiping my chin during delivery. I later found that I broke skin (!) on his hand squeezing it during pushing but he didn’t pull away he just keep rooting me on. Thank the Lord for real men!!

    1. Yes girl ??. When you have a real man by your side it makes all the difference. I love to see the dads in the delivery room holding the barf bag and wiping the vomit off their wive’s face. I’m seriously impressed every time. The crazy thing is that the things I’ve listed in this post are not rare!! Men forget sometimes that they have purpose in the delivery room. I’m so glad that your husband was such a champ for you! Go Daddy!

      1. My husband was very supportive with my first child ,my daughter , i was surprised kind of that he was helping me get whatever i needed , whenever the nurse would come he made sure he listened to everything! He helped me bring our daughter out by holding my hand and legs! With my second child my boy we were moving so he said he had to be at work , and my sister in law came to help , she was really helping me (she even said it was like she gave birth too) which I thought was funny , but it was good !! Now im pregnant with my 3 rd baby boy and i hope everything will go good as well! 😀

        1. That’s awesome! A good support system is so important. I’m hoping your third experience is just as wonderful!

  15. This reminds me of my first L&D. My husband went out and picked up McDonald’s twice and processed to eat it in front of me while I laid in the bed contracting. Then cracked jokes about the positions (bent over a therapy ball) they had me in to encourage the baby to drop down, he actually said “I’m pretty sure that’s how I got you pregnant”. Afterall was said and done my MIL came to visit and asked how I was doing and my husband started complaining about how tired he was and that his back was starting to hurt. So these are real things that happen and yes you need to write a book about it.

    1. Oh my goodness! I’m sorry that he wasn’t as supportive as he could have been for you. Hopefully the two of you can laugh about it now. I bet I could write a book about it! I’m so passionate about this topic!

  16. Anonymous says:

    My ex husband cheated on me with his ex wife while I was in labor in the st! And the fire department had to deliver her!

  17. Anonymous says:

    I found this pretty negative. Your partner is just trying to do their best.

    1. That’s what matters! If your partner is trying their best and thinking of the pregnant woman in the room first, then I’m sure they will do a great job. I just hate seeing the dads in the delivery room who completely disregard the fact that their partner is going through something harder than they can ever imagine.

  18. Anonymous says:

    After three babies and getting ready for the fourth any day now, I can say this is an excellent list. I had to tell my hubby to come hold my hand while laboring with my second. He was busy talking to his parents, whom I didn’t even want in the room. All three of them got upset with me! I was so glad when the nurse told them it was time for them to leave the room.

  19. Shae McCoy says:

    I loved this and the dads guide article! Honestly I love them all! Your dads guide article got me slightly emotional, it was very moving for a dad guide. You have such a way with words! I love reading your articles 💗🙌🏼

    1. That is so sweet. Thank you, Shae! I am glad you love them.

  20. Traci-Leigh says:

    Oh my gosh, I have to go home and tell my husband how amazing he was with our first. We’re pregnant again so I’m just catching up on what I’ve forgotten since 4 years ago lol. He made a few off color jokes during my labor, but was right there, being supportive, hold the bucket for me to puke during each contraction, being amazed at how strong my grip was (I did natural and came close to breaking his fingers a few times, and he never once complained about his pain.) He got right up in the business end of everything when our Midwife gave him instructions. He only slept after I’d fall asleep, he was there with cool compresses, rubbing my kankles, and making sure I was as comfortable as possible.

    1. YES! He needs a little pat on the back! A great support person is soooo essential!

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